ADOPTION CAN HELP THOSE FACING CRISIS PREGNANCIES

In the highly volatile arena of pro-life versus pro-abortion, there is a difficult but beautiful third choice, open adoption.

Open adoption is the life-giving decision that a woman makes to carry her child to term. It gives a birth mom the ability to place her child with a family of her choosing, and to determine the level of involvement she will have in the child’s life. There are 2 millions couples waiting to adopt in the United States. Imagine a world where these families are matched with women in crisis or unplanned pregnancies, addressing the needs of each and “saving the life” of not just the unborn child, but the entire adoption triad: the birth parents, the adoptive parents and the adoptee.

Although arguments for abortion can be persuasive and hardships for women are real, the fact remains that a child’s life, individual and unique from its mother, is taken in an abortion. There are numerous arguments for the rights of pregnant women, some of them more compelling than others, but as difficult as each situation may be, there is never a circumstance that justifies the taking of another’s life. In a society where we are keen on protecting rights, it is baffling that we so greatly miss the mark on the rights of the pre-born.

With advances in prenatal imaging and increased knowledge of prenatal development over the past nearly 50 years since the court’s 1973 Roe v. Wade ruling, there can be no doubt of the personhood of a child within the womb. Do we pick the side of science only when convenient or wanted? Or do we support women by empowering them with real knowledge and providing education on a third option?

In my experience, having spoken to thousands of women in crisis pregnancies, I have never met anyone who is happily contemplating abortion. In juxtaposition to the sense that one might get while watching chanting crowds demanding women’s rights, this is not a joyful “It’s my right to kill the life within me” decision. The clearer truth I have experienced is that once a woman is informed about the life growing inside her and is introduced to the resources for parenting support and/or open adoption, she is relieved to know that there are other options available to her.

San Diego has a thriving community of organizations all dedicated to protecting the most innocent among us and supporting their mothers. From pregnancy care centers to post-abortion healing organizations, to maternity homes, to adoption support networks, truly every piece of the reproductive care puzzle is covered. I am the executive director of Adoption Center of San Diego, a nonprofit founded in 1986 that facilitates local, open adoptions. For 36 years, we have provided women with real options, walking alongside them, supporting them and empowering them with education.

A birth mom who made an adoption plan through Adoption Center of San Diego for her second unplanned pregnancy had this to say, “Abortion is a decision to end a life. Adoption is a decision to give life. The former ends in numbness, despair and inexplicable grief. The latter ends in a lifelong joy, the start of a family and a new lineage. I’ve chosen death, and I’ve chosen life, and I can tell you, life is better.”

Another mom who had an abortion, and two children removed from her care and placed into the foster care system, had this to say about choosing open adoption for her fourth pregnancy: “For the very first time, in this moment where I am preparing to sign adoption paperwork, I feel like a good mom. My baby is very much alive, and I know his future holds so much goodness. I am not worried about Child Welfare Services. I am not worried about his safety. I am able to be a great mom by choosing someone to parent him, while I get to continue to be a part of his life.”

There is still so much work that needs to be done, but the answer to all the brokenness is never more brokenness. Taking the lives of our children, the most innocent among us, is never a good solution. Open adoption is a positive step in the right direction. Lanza is executive director at Adoption Center of San Diego. She lives in San Diego.