LOVING FAMILIES AWAIT BABIES THEY CAN ADOPT
In light of the May 2 leak of a draft Supreme Court ruling and the possibility that the court will overturn Roe v. Wade, sending abortion laws back to the states, options for women in crisis will become more critical than ever. Most women choose abortion because they say they aren’t ready to parent. There is another option, in addition to abortion or parenting. The third option is open adoption.
Ten years ago, the ink wasn’t dry on our incorporation papers for the Agnus Dei Foundation when we got our first call to help a woman in crisis at 32 weeks pregnant. She was trying to get an abortion in Bakersfield and was told she would have to go to Long Beach. It would be a two-day procedure, and cost over $3,000. Homeless, with daughters who were then 4 and 2 years old, she reached into the pocket of her car door and retrieved a pamphlet that had been handed to her by a pro-life sidewalk counselor at the abortion facility months earlier when she got her first pregnancy test.
Surprised she had taken it, let alone kept it, she made a phone call that ultimately led her to Colette Willson, the adoption attorney on our newly formed board of directors.
Willson called me and said, “I know we haven’t established the Lamb of God Maternity Home yet, but do you think this woman and her two little ones can live at your house while we help her with an open adoption?”
I jumped in the car and drove four hours from Escondido to Bakersfield to pick them up. I called my husband from the road, explained the situation, and said, “It’s OK, right?” A month later, the woman gave birth to our ministry’s first baby and placed the girl into the loving arms of the wonderful adoptive couple she had chosen.
After two more birth mothers lived in our personal home, we knew it was time to bring the vision of opening Lamb of God Maternity Home to reality in North San Diego County. Through divine miracles and the generosity of our early donors, we purchased the perfect home, and over the past decade, we have fielded thousands of crisis calls, housed hundreds of women, provided 24/7 wraparound care, walked with women on their adoption journeys, and filled our walls with the pictures of dozens of babies who not only were given life but whose birth mothers chose to give them a life with a married father and mother through the gift of adoption.
By some estimates, there are 2 million couples on waiting lists for adoption in the United States. Only 1 percent of women in crisis choose adoption. Why is this? I asked our first birth mother the same question. Her answer shocked me.
She thought no one would want her baby because it was mixed race. Little did she know that most couples waiting to adopt are open to all races. She also thought she would have to find an attorney and pay all the legal costs. In reality, adoption-related expenses, including legal costs and housing, are covered by adopting couples, facilitators and charities like Lamb of God.
According to the Guttmacher Institute, research conducted in 1987 and 2004 shows 1 percent of women seeking abortions are victims of rape and less than 0.5 percent are cases of incest. Therefore, the mantra “my body, my choice” falls flat. The data shows that in 98.5 percent of cases, women have had consensual sex. Once pregnant, there is another body to consider, one that has its own arms, legs, heart, brain, DNA, fingerprints and blood type.
Pro-abortion advocates often argue that pro-life supporters care only about the baby. I beg to differ. Just ask the courageous women we serve. They receive the support of mentors, counselors, volunteers, staff and donors, who give these women hope and in many cases help them break the cycle of generational poverty. They remain supported during and after their pregnancy. Many have stayed in touch for years and speak at events to raise awareness about open adoption.
I have walked in these women’s shoes. Thirty years ago, I chose the third option and placed my baby in an open adoption, so that he could grow up with a married father and mother. My adoption journey became the inspiration for Lamb of God Maternity Home.
God often uses our deepest sorrow as the launch pad for our greatest calling.
Dulaney is a married mother of five children and a business owner. She founded Agnus Dei Foundation/Lamb of God Maternity Home in May 2012 and lives in San Diego.