OVERTURN IS A PROFOUND VICTORY FOR THE UNBORN
In the highly volatile arena of pro-life versus pro-abortion, there is a difficult but beautiful third choice, open adoption.
Open adoption is the life-giving decision that a woman makes to carry her child to term. It gives a birth mom the ability to place her child with a family of her choosing, and to determine the level of involvement she will have in the child’s life. There are 2 millions couples waiting to adopt in the United States. Imagine a world where these families are matched with women in crisis or unplanned pregnancies, addressing the needs of each and “saving the life” of not just the unborn child, but the entire adoption triad: the birth parents, the adoptive parents and the adoptee.
Although arguments for abortion can be persuasive and hardships for women are real, the fact remains that a child’s life, individual and unique from its mother, is taken in an abortion. There are numerous arguments for the rights of pregnant women, some of them more compelling than others, but as difficult as each situation may be, there is never a circumstance that justifies the taking of another’s life. In a society where we are keen on protecting rights, it is baffling that we so greatly miss the mark on the rights of the pre-born.
From an essay by Grace Dulaney, founder of Agnus Dei Foundation/ Lamb of God Maternity Home:
According to the Guttmacher Institute, research conducted in 1987 and 2004 shows 1 percent of women seeking abortions are victims of rape and less than 0.5 percent are cases of incest. Therefore, the mantra “my body, my choice” falls flat. The data shows that in 98.5 percent of cases, women have had consensual sex. Once pregnant, there is another body to consider, one that has its own arms, legs, heart, brain, DNA, fingerprints and blood type. Pro-abortion advocates often argue that pro-life supporters care only about the baby. I beg to differ. Just ask the courageous women we serve.
They receive the support of mentors, counselors, volunteers, staff and donors, who give these women hope and in many cases help them break the cycle of generational poverty. They remain supported during and after their pregnancy. Many have stayed in touch for years and speak at events to raise awareness about open adoption.
I have walked in these women’s shoes. Thirty years ago, I chose the third option and placed my baby in an open adoption, so that he could grow up with a married father and mother. My adoption journey became the inspiration for Lamb of God Maternity Home.
I made at least four appointments to get an abortion. Two were to get the abortion pill, and the other two were in-clinic abortions. But my financial situation was complicated, and I could not afford to follow through with any of these appointments. In retrospect, this was a blessing in disguise.
Then I considered adoption. I thought of one of my closest relationships, my cousin, who was a part of my life only because she had been adopted.
I thought about the couples who ached to have a family: The men who hoped to leave a lasting legacy in a child and the women who yearned to be mothers experiencing tremendous grief because they could not. Ultimately, however, I opted for adoption for two reasons. As a woman of deep faith, I knew God’s heart on the matter. His Scripture is clear. One of my favorite verses is, “As you do not know what is the way of the wind, or how the bones grow in the womb of her who is with child, so you do not know the works of God who makes everything” (Ecclesiastes 11:5). I trusted His works were more significant than what I knew at the moment. Two, I wanted my daughters to know that life holds immeasurable value, despite how I feel. I wanted to show them that I could put my pride aside, endure temporary discomfort and do what was good and beautiful. I wanted to set a good example for them with my faith, integrity and wisdom.
From an essay by Carlsbad resident Sarah Keller:
What does an open adoption look like for a single mother? I would like to share three components that I believe apply to open adoptions.
First, there are millions of parents with arms wide open, ready to receive a child and maintain an open adoption.
Second, the birth mother does not have to pay a cent in the adoption process. Giving one’s child to another family is sacrifice enough. Third is community. I had family members who didn’t like my decision, I had friends who didn’t understand it, I had mothers who said I should have kept my son. But in the pro-life adoption community, I found that it’s OK if my family and friends “didn’t get it” because there are millions of people who do.
In my surrender to the Lord, He led me to meet a beautiful couple before I even knew I was placing my baby boy for adoption. Through a few months of processing and prayer, I realized they were the parents for my son.
He is now 22 months old, and the happiest boy I know. His parents give him so much love, a beautiful life — and I am a vital part of that.