Gay (Gillmouth) Backer
July 23, 1943 - December 13, 2022
LA MESA, CA —
Gay passed on Dec. 13, 2022 at age 79 at Arbor Hills Nursing Center in La Mesa, CA, from cardiopulmonary arrest along with pneumonia and dementia. She had resided at Arbor Hills for the last 1.5 years of her life with dementia issues.
Gay was born on July 23, 1943 to Joseph Ira and Anita Dee (Duerst) Gillmouth (both now deceased) in McMinnville, Oregon. She was the middle of three Gillmouth children – older brother Gordon and younger brother Gary. Ira (as her father was known) and Anita were small business owners, first a grocery store (Gill’s Cash Market), then a hardware store (Coast to Coast Hardware).
Gay attended public schools in McMinnville, graduating from McMinnville High School in 1961. She later attended Salem Beauty School, then embarked on a career as a beautician, initially in Oregon, subsequently in La Mesa CA. She later worked for the local Weight Watchers organization as assistant operations manager.
Gay had a challenging life, but was always upbeat with a positive attitude and a smile on her face. She was twice married and divorced, and in her early 40s was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and tomaculous neuropathy, nerve pain disorders that ultimately led to her leaving the work force early. Later in life, she was diagnosed with dementia, leading to her move to Arbor Hills Nursing Center in June 2021.
Gay cherished her relationships with family and friends – her two sons, two grandchildren, two brothers, cousins/ nieces/nephews, close friend of nearly 60 years Jane Kendall and family, and many others. She will be very much missed by all.
Gay is survived by son Aaron Backer and grandchildren Cash Jacob Andrew Backer and Liliana Elisabeth Backer, all of Greeley, CO; son Jason Backer (wife Patti) of Berlin, MD; brother Gordon Gillmouth of Fremont, CA; brother Gary Gillmouth (wife Pat) of Gladstone, OR; and several cousins, nieces, and nephews.
The family would like to thank Gay’s caregiver, Dalen Sullivan, for her dedicated service to Gay over the last 18 years of her life, that allowed Gay to continue to live in her home until she moved to Arbor Hills Nursing Center.
A funeral mass will be held Friday, March 31, 2023 at 11 a.m. at St. Martin of Tours Catholic Church, 7710 El Cajon Blvd, La Mesa, CA (619) 465-5334; preceded by a rosary at 6:30 p.m. the evening before at the church.
Following the mass, a reception will be held at the home of Dalen Sullivan (6141 Dalhart Ave., La Mesa, CA). All are welcome; if you plan to attend, please RSVP to Gordon Gillmouth (gillmouth@yahoo.com) by March 28.
In lieu of flowers, the family suggests a donation to a favorite charity in memory of Gay.