1,000 paper clips? If they’re free, customers love it

“I don’t need 1,000 paper clips. I’ll probably just clip ’em together and make a necklace for my wife.”

Not every day can a person walk in off the street and get 1,000 free paper clips.

Yet it happened in the Bay Area last week. Thousands of people turned out for the most incredible offer ever. And each person left with 1,000 free paper clips.

“Bring in this coupon,” said the newspaper ad for the Office Club supply store, “and for just coming in, we’ll give you 10 boxes of paper clips!”

The trouble with 1,000 paper clips is that it is 995 more paper clips than the average person needs. This did not stop hordes of coupon-waving souls from storming the store on the morning I was there, demanding their free paper clips.

First in line was an elderly gent named Mr. Jeffries, who said he did not know what he was going to do with his 1,000 free paper clips, but they would surely be nice to have around.

When, I asked him, was the last time he used a paper clip?

“I can’t remember,” he said. “Couple of weeks ago, I think. Mailed in a bill.”

At a rate of one clip every two weeks, Mr. Jeffries’ free clips will last 38 years.

“How about that?” said Mr. Jeffries.

This is a story that goes to the heart of the American experience. Give something away for free in this great land and you will never be lonely.

Even a cursory inspection of 23. $10-$23. Courthouse Square, 2200 Broadway, Redwood City. www.redwood city.org/oktoberfest

Redwood City Salsa Festival A celebration of Latin American culture with salsa music, salsa dancing and salsa tasting featuring three stages of live music, culinary salsa competitions, tequila tasting, hands-on art projects, children’s activities, food and drink for purchase, and more. Noon-8 p.m. Sat., Sept. 29. Free. Courthouse Square, 2200 Broadway, Redwood City. www.redwood city.org/ salsafest

S.F. Music Day A day of free live music on four stages by 36 local ensembles and 160 musicians spanning genres including jazz, experimental, classical, electronic, acoustic and more. Noon-8 p.m. Sun., Sept. 30. Free. San Francisco War Memorial Veterans Building, 401 Van Ness Ave., S.F. www.intermusicsf.org/sfmd

San Francisco Safari Disc Golfing Tournament Participate or just join in the fun. Event includes competitive disk golfing at various age and skill levels as well as social events, food and activities. Fri.-Sun., Sept. 28-30. See website for schedule. Golden Gate Park, S.F. www.sfdisc the free-clip clientele, however, revealed something crucial to the enterprise — these were not the sort of folks who might, after claiming their clips, linger in the office supply store to buy office supplies, as the company had hoped.

Many were seniors with time on their hands. A few were street folks who had seen better times. Some were kids. They exchanged the coupon for their silvery swag and promptly departed.

golf.org/event/2018-safari

Shoptoberfest Treasurefest presents an Autumn outdoor flea market with unique goods and collectibles for sale, live entertainment, food trucks, workshops, children’s activities and more. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Sat-Sun., Sept. 29-30. $5. 500 Ave. N, Treasure Island, S.F. www.treasurefest.com

Trails Forever NightHowl A fundraiser for the Golden Gate National Parks Conservancy with hosted bar featuring specialty cocktails, buffet, s’mores by the campfire, live entertainment, DJ dancing, surprises and more. 8:30 p.m. Sat., Sept. 29. $100-$125. Crissy Field, S.F. www.eventbrite.com/e/nighthowl-2018tickets-47275866389

We Got Next Beyond Anticipation, Alameda County provider of services for former foster youths, presents an evening reception, film screening and panel showcasing success stories of young people who beat the odds and are excelling after foster care. 6-8:30 p.m. Wed., Sept. 26. $15-$20. Oakland Asian Cultural Center, 388 9th St., Oakland. www.beyondemancipation.org/event/ we-got-next

“I don’t need 1,000 paper clips,” said Bill Hammersky. “I’ll probably just clip ’em together and make a necklace for my wife.”

“Maybe I can sell ’em,” said a guy in a ratty coat.

This was not what Sandy Markus, vice president of marketing for the store, had in mind. She said the store was determined to give something away to persuade new customers to drop by, and paper clips, even 1,000 of them, seemed like a cost-effective way to go.

“I don’t really know why we picked paper clips,” she said. “The merchandising people picked paper clips. They are useful little things.”

But 1,000 of them?

“It does seem like a lot,” she acknowledged. “We wanted to make a statement.”

There was only one question left to ask. How many paper clips were given away altogether?

“I cannot reveal that number,” she said. “Macy’s doesn’t tell Gimbel’s.”

More than a million?

Oh, yes, lots more than a million,” she said.

I bore down. More than 10 million? This is how the reporters asked questions in that Watergate movie.

“Not that many,” she said. Around 5 million? “Around 5 million,” she said. “There. You got it out of me.”

This column originally appeared in The San Francisco Chronicle on Sept. 2, 1988. with Sean Boyles. 7:30 p.m. $10-$20. Wed.: Comedy Night with Jeremy Curry. 8 p.m. $10-$20. Thurs.: Rudy Ortiz. 7:30 p.m. $10-$20. Fri.-Sat.: Junior. 7:30 and 10:15 p.m. Fri.; 7 and 9:45 p.m. Sat. $20-$30. 5104 Hopyard Rd., Pleasanton. (925) 227-1800. www. tommyts.com

NORTH BAY

Throckmorton Theatre Tues.: Tuesday Night Live Comedy with Bob Zany, Oliver Graves, Wes Hofmann. 8 p.m. $17-$22. Thurs.: Mort Sahl. 7 p.m. $20. 142 Throckmorton Ave., Mill Valley. (415) 383-9600. www.throckmortontheatre.org

SOUTH BAY

Improv Comedy Club Today: Guy Torry. 7 p.m. $17. Thurs.Sat.: Bert Kreischer. 7 p.m. Thurs.; 7:30 and 9:45 p.m. Fri.; 7 and 9:30 p.m. Sat. $35-$85. Next Sun.: Andrew Schulz. 7 p.m. $25. 62 S. Second St., San Jose. (408) 280-7475. sanjose.improv.com

Rooster T. Feathers Today: Ian Bagg. 7 p.m. $25. Wed.: New Talent Showcase. 8 p.m. $10. Thurs.-next Sun.: Nick Guerra. 8 p.m. Thurs.; 7 and 9:30 p.m. Sat.; 7 p.m. Sun. $15-$23. 157 W. El Camino Real, Sunnyvale. (408) 7360921. www.roostert feathers.com