Sunshine State is petri dish for NBA

Florida.

The NBA is about to bubble down in Florida.

In a moment, a better idea. But why Florida? Apparently, there were no leper colonies available.

Maybe because COVID19 seems to be Florida’s official state disease. It’s a place where coronavirus warnings are like UFO sightings: charming and fun and a bit scary, but nothing to get all worried about. The WNBA and Major League Soccer also are planning to enbubble in Florida (credit to CBS Sports football analyst Amy Trask for inventing the word “enbubble”).

Seriously, why Florida? It was one of the slowest states to shut down, one of the quickest to reopen. Florida has been a leader and innovator in manipulating virus tracking data, in keeping with the state’s Latin motto: Data, schmatta.

Maybe it’s the optimism that Florida radiates. Gov. Ron DeSantis took what he called a “victory lap” seven weeks ago when he reopened the state. He scoffed at the “doom and gloom” media.

“Victory” might have been a tad strong. On coronavirus heat maps, Florida glows like it’s radioactive. Data released Saturday show 4,049 new cases, marking a singleday high for the third consecutive day in the state. Orange County, where the NBA will enbubble itself, is hothot. Also,

Florida infections, especially in Orange County, are trending to younger people, so it’s not just geriatric retirees who are at risk.

I know Florida has a cruiseboatload of hotels, but I did some research and discovered that Florida is not the only state with hotels and gyms. Many states have both!

Does the NBA realize that no fans will be attending games? That cuts the need for hotel rooms by about 99%. Many NBA players have expressed a fear that hurrying back to work now will drain attention from the political protests over civil rights and abuse of minorities.

I wonder how those politically conscious NBA players feel about bringing their show to a state that has a less than glorious record for suppression of minority voting.

And let’s not forget the mosquitoes.

So what’s the attraction of Florida and the greater Walt Disney World complex? Only a bitter cynic would say, “Follow the money.” But, follow the money. Disney pays the NBA an estimated $1.4 billion per year to broadcast games on ESPN and ABC.

Yes, the ESPN Wide World of Sports complex has three arenas that can be cut up into as many as 20 basketball courts, plus topnotch broadcast facilities, and fancy hotels up the wazoo.

All inside that beautiful NBA bubble. That bubble, by the way, is not an actual, physical barrier. However, Tinkerbell agreed to sprinkle the area daily with fairy dust.

I mentioned earlier that I have a better idea.

Here it is: Montana.

On virus heat maps, Montana is the North Pole, the coolest state.

The biggest hotel in Montana is probably the Billings Motel 6, but that doesn’t matter. Haul in 1,000 Airstream trailers and create an instant NBA village. No hotel elevators, no virusfilled lobbies and hallways.

Instead of jamming players into crowded hotel restaurants, the NBA could feed ’em chuckwagonstyle, around teambonding campfires.

Montana is short on major arenas, but again, we’re playing with zero fans. Any high school or college gym can be tricked out with an NBAquality floor and backboards. I checked. Montana has high schools and colleges.

Huey Lewis, the famed Bay Area rocker, has a remote 500acre ranch in Montana. Huey is a big sports fan, so maybe he would be willing to let the NBA camp out on his spread for a couple of months.

Let’s ask him. I texted Lewis on Thursday and he replied, “Sure, but we’re at elevation, so the baskets are 11 feet.”

That doesn’t make sense, but neither does a threemonth enbubblement in Virusland.

Enjoy Florida, NBA. Many of the state’s hospital ICUs are filling up fast, so BYOV — V as in ventilators.