Carole Carlson

Carole was a wonderfully complex person. She was a woman ahead of her time, but also of her time. While there was much, much more to her than this it was correctly said that “she knew how to laugh”, and she did so easily and often. Her laughter was stilled on May 26, 2020, though, and we are left with the echo, and to remember all that she was.

Carole Anne Maher was born on August 10, 1931 in Jamestown, New York to Edwin and Alice Maher. Her father was old school, the head of the local iron works, and her upbringing fairly traditional. While she remained a loyal and loving daughter all her life, she ultimately came to embrace values, beliefs and nonbeliefs that were not those of her parents, a testament to her independence and willingness to think for herself.

Carole took her bachelor’s (nomenclature she would remark on later) degree from the University of Maryland in 1953 and was married within the month to Rod Carlson. And a good and loving choice it was, for both of them, and they remained devoted to one another for 66 strong and rich years. Rod’s career first took them to Buffalo, where they had their first child Jeffrey in 1954. Two more children followed, in short order, Sarah in 1956 and Thomas in 1958. By then they had lived in California for a spell and gone back to Buffalo, but the sunny climes and open attitudes of California beckoned and they moved to Palo Alto in 1958, a town that remained close to her heart to the end.

Carole enjoyed her family life but also felt that she could add to that by undertaking even more endeavors. A professional told her not to get a job but rather to pick up hobbies (in her recounting of this she relished emphasizing that such advice came from a man). Typical of her nature she rejected that counsel, went back to school at San Jose State to get her teaching credential, and became the librarian at Cherry Chase elementary school in Sunnyvale. She was extremely well-suited to that role with her upbeat, enthusiastic attitude, deep love of reading, and genuine ability to relate to all children. Her long and rewarding career was met with an equally rich and rewarding retirement filled with family, travel, adventures, and quiet times with Rod.

Carole had many defining traits during her life, but perhaps the central animating one was her support of women’s rights. Related to this, and perhaps stemming from the same place and perception of equity and fairness, was her devotion to Democratic and liberal causes. She was willing to stand up and be counted for her beliefs (while willing to re-examine them occasionally), and tried her best to be diplomatic.

But she contained multitudes, and “Matma” became the grandmother of grandmothers, contributing in many many ways to each of her grandchildren, but mostly in the sense that they all felt so so deeply adored and cherished. There was not an event that went unattended, a milestone that went unremarked, a party she did not plan or attend, a supply of Swedish meatballs/See’s candies/sugar cookies/snack mix that she did not bring, and office supplies/monogrammed towels that she did not gift. These were all expressions of her love, and she made us smile, laugh and feel loved.

She was sharp, giving, witty, thoughtful and organized. She loved travel, was always up for trying and learning new things and staying modern and current (while hewing to some tradition and traditional things), and had a warm way with people.

Carole was sadly predeceased by her husband Rod in 2019, by her son Jeffrey in 2015, and by her brother Dick in 2017. But she is survived by her daughter Sarah (Ras Bonitto), son Thomas (Brenda), daughter -in-law Nancy, and grandsons Steve, Matt, James, Will and Josh.

As a wee bit of a counterweight to the Swedish heritage of her husband (and mother), Carole also honored her Irish heritage. Mom, as part of the Irish saying goes: may the road rise up to meet you, the wind be always at your back, and the rains fall soft upon your fields. We will all have our appointment in Samarra, and until then we will be thinking about you.