Just call it Christmas. Get over it, folks

Last December, when we were allowed to go to parties and socialize, a friend came up to me and cheerily said “Merry Chris ... ” and then, catching herself, switched to “happy holidays,” presumably in order not to offend me. In our everencroaching PC world, I find this happening more and more. And I hate it. I’m Jewish. I’m a duespaying member of two synagogues, support Israel unconditionally and long for a Jewish president ( Bernie Sanders excepted.)

But I also love Christmas. I love the trees, the decorations, the lights, the parties, the food and drink, the gifts, the overindulgence. I love putting on my red blazer and Jerry Garcia Santa necktie. I can recite “The Night Before Christmas” by heart, and I thoroughly enjoyed years of selling and delivering Christmas trees for The Guardsmen.

And most of all, I love the music. All of it. I love “White Christmas,” “Rudolph the RedNosed Reindeer,” “Santa Claus is Coming to Town,” “Silver Bells,” “Jingle Bell Rock.” And I’m moved, sometimes to tears, by the perfect simplicity of “Silent Night” and “O Little Town of Bethlehem,” and the big, rousing orchestra and choral sounds of “O Holy Night” and “Angels We Have Heard on High.” And, of course, Handel’s “Messiah.”

I grew up in San Mateo and went to public elementary school. Every year we’d have a Christmas pageant, and all the parents and relatives would come. They would be entertained by the school orchestra and chorus doing carols. ( This was before the demise of school music and art programs.) There was also a Christmas scene complete with Mary and Joseph, a baby doll, wise men, stuffed animals, a star and a manger. One year I played Joseph and said, “Hark!” a lot, much to the amusement of my family and other Jewish families. No one was offended. Sadly, the ACLU and others have succeeded in shutting this kind of thing down cold.

In our attempt to produce equalopportunity

inoffensiveness, we have produced equalopportunity blandness, meaninglessness and boredom.

Yet there is an undeniable connection between Jews and Christmas, other than the fact that the holiday is about the birth of a Jewish boy. Most of the wellknown department stores were founded and run by Jews for generations — Macy’s (“Miracle on 34th Street”), Saks, Gimbels, Bloomingdale’s, Gump’s, Magnin’s, the Gap — and this is where most of the gifts were bought. And many of the classic carols were written by Jews. “White Christmas,” written by Irving Berlin ( ne, Israel Isadore Beilin), is the most popular Christmas song of all time. “Rudolph,” “Silver Bells” and others were also written by Jews. Barbra Streisand has one of the most acclaimed Christmas albums. So, what about Hanukkah? This relatively minor holiday has been elevated over the decades to give us equal opportunity in celebration and giftgiving. We light a new candle for eight successive nights to commemorate the miracle in the temple of the flame, lasting for eight days when there was enough oil for only one.

Christmas itself has major nonreligious origins. It’s no accident that it takes place mere days after the winter solstice, a major ancient pagan holiday full of high jinks and debauchery that celebrated the end of darkest day of the year and the gradual renewal of the earth. Rather than compete with it, the church wisely coopted it. And many of the Christmas symbols — trees, holly, mistletoe — were hardly religious. Most scholars doubt that Jesus was born in December, anyway. But what does it matter? It’s a great and joyous season, no matter how it’s celebrated.

Alas, this year’s festivities will be curtailed or eliminated — just when we need it the most. Zoom gatherings with family and friends are a lame substitute for the real thing.

So, from now on, whether in person or on the internet, please don’t wish me happy holidays, season’s greetings, merry everything or any other insipid phrase.

Wish me a Merry Christmas, because that’s what I’ll be wishing you.

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