San Francisco Chronicle - (Sunday)
Older adults ask peers, friends to be roommates
Carrie, Miranda and Charlotte of “Sex and the City” are now in their mid-50s, as portrayed in their new HBO Max comedydrama “And Just Like That.” And nobody blinks an eye as the gals gallivant around Manhattan in often flamboyant clothes. Yet that’s the same age Dorothy, Blanche and Rose were when “The Golden Girls” debuted in 1985, all modest with their white (or dyed brown) poofy hair and sensible dresses.
In a modern time when 50something is hardly considered a senior, it’s hard to consider the sassy, attractive Golden Girls as anything but “mature.” And with star Betty White’s passing last Dec. 31 at age 99, some might now even consider the 50’s to be middle age.
Still, there’s a timeless appeal to “The Golden Girls,” living together as friends and for support and initially prompted by financial concerns. Besides providing companionship, cost of living challenges can make living with roommates seem like a grand idea.
It’s also increasingly necessary for many people. The Bay Area real estate market continues to be hot, with the median sale price for a home hitting $1.2 million this January, a 14.3% increase over January 2021, noted Norada Real Estate Investments of Laguna Niguel (Orange County).
Three Bay Area cities make the top 10 list for most expensive one- and two-bedroom apartments, too, according to February Zumper Rental data. That includes San Francisco at second (surpassed only by New York), San Jose at fourth and Oakland
» “People home share for a variety of reasons including reducing housing costs, earning extra income, receiving help at home, enjoying companionship and helping out their neighbors.” Katherine Goodman, HIP Development Officer
at eighth.
Worse, 30% of the homeless population is 50-plus years old, according to the 2019 San Francisco Homeless Count & Survey.
Human Investment Project Housing (HIP) is a nonprofit based in San Mateo County that matches households having a spare room or an accessory dwelling unit with individuals seeking places to live. Multiple renters can also share housing units that HIP owns and manages. Supported by the city of San Mateo, the county of San Mateo and all 19 other cities in the county, the program has specialized in affordable and creative housing solutions since 1972, and now helps more than 1,400 people a year.
Home Match is another nonprofit, which is part of Front Porch with locations in the East Bay, San Francisco, Marin, Contra Costa and Monterey. Affiliated with the nonprofit Covia Foundation of Walnut Creek, it partners with multiple sponsors, such as the San Francisco Mayor’s Office of Housing and Community Development, the city of Fremont, the Marin Community Foundation and many others.
Both organizations provide services at no cost to participants and work in two ways: homeowners can sign up to offer space or renters can sign up for tenancy. And both HIP and Home Match teams interview applicants on owner and tenant sides, conduct background searches, develop written agreements between all parties and provide on-going support as needed.
“People home share for a variety of reasons including reducing housing costs, earning extra income, receiving help at home, enjoying companionship and helping out their neighbors,” said HIP Development Officer Katherine Goodman. “Home sharing also makes more efficient use of existing housing stock, so it benefits our whole community.”
In fact, a 2021 survey by Home Match found that 82% of its participants feel less worried about money due to their housemates, 60% feel more connected to other people and 73% feel safer and more secure. Additionally, 74% said they feel happier sharing their homes with people having difficulty finding a place to live in the Bay Area.
A LIFELINE FOR HOMEOWNERS, TENANTS
For Lourdes Oclarit, 80, offering a room in her home made sense on several levels when she joined HIP eight years ago.
“I have a big house and I wanted to stay in the home,” said the South San Francisco resident. “HIP sounded like it was good for me. Financially it helps, that is for sure. I also like the idea that I can have people around — on holidays, I invite my housemates for dinner with me and give out Christmas presents, but I also understand they have their own family to go to. My current housemate’s parents have baked cookies for me for the past two years.
“And sometimes I can learn from other cultures without needing to travel. I have had tenants from Japan and Germany who became my friends, and when they visit California, they come see me.”
On the tenant side, housing assistance can be a lifeline. Victoria McCauley, 73, had been homeless for four years and kept seeing the HIP program flier when she visited the Pacifica community free resource center.
“I needed a place to be, and I did not have time to wait around, but everything was confusing to do and way beyond my ability,” she said. “I saw that I could do this with personal, face-to-face contact and easy processes. It was also important that I had control of things I wanted to do and not do. Nothing was dictated to me.”
Working with a professional organization offers important safeguards, not guaranteed with social media or online classified advertising sites.
“I loved the idea that HIP has checked all the people out,” Oclarit said. “It shows that someone really truly cares. So when I call housemates, they are respectful.”
McCauley feels fortunate that so far her experience has been positive.
“I really needed a place where I could just be,” she said. “I was used to living alone, and after losing my husband, I had to work on myself and my own healing.”
Her accommodations include a separate entrance, her own kitchen and bathroom and a critical sense of independence.
“The place I am living in right now allowed me to create a nest,” she said.
FINDING THE RIGHT MATCH
Though it’s true that having housemates usually require lifestyle adaptions and potential conflict (witness the comedydrama blow-ups in many of “The Golden Girl” episodes), having a concierge service to handle personal interviews and establish boundaries is invaluable.
“Covia provides a much needed service in this day and age in bringing together strangers to share living quarters and hopefully turn into good friends,” said Home Match client Marty, 90, of Concord (she asked her last name not be used). “While no one can guarantee that a roommate situation will prove the perfect match, Covia asks the difficult questions both parties might need to face when deciding to live together.”
That includes a wide variety of differences, including LGBTQ, cultural backgrounds and languages spoken.
“Questions can range from do you have pets, to what type of a housemate relationship would you like,” said Gabriela Perez, Program Director of Home Match in Contra Costa County. “And while Home Match follows fair housing rules, we do work extensively with participant’s to identify their lifestyle preferences.”
Having all expectations in writing is critical.
“Cleanliness is important for us, so if the person who cleans does not come, I will do it,” Oclarit said. “The rules in HIP’s ‘Living Together Agreement’ are wonderful, because I can go back to what we started with, and remind the housemate they agreed to this. And if there is someone who is not going with the program and I find that we do not work out, we have 30 days, and they can find a new match.”
Having a good attitude, helps, too.
“We are just like family,” said Oclarit. “I am always on top of what they need, and I believe in the golden rule. I am a very people to people person, and it has been easy for me.”