San Francisco Chronicle - (Sunday)
As LGBTQ+ older adults age, activities keep them connected to vibrant community
On June 26, 2015, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that samesex marriage is legal in all 50 states. “(Couples) ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law,” Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote in the majority opinion of the case. “The Constitution grants them that right.”
Seven years later, there is one thing we can be sure of: this is an era where LGBTQ+ people are openly celebrating their lives and their love. And in the Bay Area, there are more and more opportunities to gather and celebrate.
The evolution is particularly recognized by older adults, who are entering their golden years supported by community and with many organized activities for fun and adventure.
Gary Saperstein, 62, is one of the region’s most visible pioneers in the movement. He founded his Out in the Vineyard group in 2008 in Sonoma to host events and organize itineraries for LGBTQ+ travelers.
“Over the years, I had started to see an influx of LGBTQ+ tourists as well as the community growing by leaps and bounds all around Wine Country, but no one was talking to us,” he said. “I wondered why the wine industry wasn’t marketing to us, especially when mecca — the Castro in San Francisco — was just an hour south of the region.”
Having moved from New York to pursue his career in the restaurant industry nearly three decades ago, Saperstein created valuable relationships with many local winemakers, restaurateurs and hoteliers and sat on the board of directors for the Sonoma Valley Visitors Bureau and Sonoma County Tourism.
Initially, he arranged custom luxury hotel stays, exclusive winery tours and fine dining experiences. Soon, he branched out into events designed to bring the LGBTQ+ community together and raise funds for causes like Face to Face, an organization that supports people in Sonoma County living with HIV and AIDS.
Out in the Vineyard’s first event, a Twilight T-Dance, was hosted by Beringer Winery in St. Helena in 2009. Saperstein was inspired by tea dances begun in the 1950s in New York, he said, when it was illegal for public establishments to sell alcohol to homosexual customers. Following the idea of Victorian era tea dances in the English countryside, the t-dance was a way for the gay community to be able to meet and socialize under the guise of enjoying afternoon tea.
In its modern incarnation, OITV’s t-dance is a high energy gathering with DJ disco music, local wine, food and performances by superstar drag queens. The dance has become a hugely popular signature of the annual Gay Wine Weekend scheduled for July 15-17 in Sonoma Valley.
Now in its 11th year, the weekend attracts visitors from all across the U.S. for VIP receptions, winemaker dinners, winery tours, after parties, a drag queen brunch, back roads bicycling tours, a wine auction and a pool party. Anyone over 21 is welcome to attend, and all ages do.
“With the event becoming more renowned, the age range really has increased between younger and older LGBTQ+ adults,” Saperstein said. “I would venture to say that 35% of guests now are over 55. My favorite part is seeing both the younger and more mature adults interacting and sharing their stories about where they are at in life. I believe that the older generation and the younger generation are open to listening to each other.”
Another event scheduled for this year is a Riviera Maya cruise Oct. 9-14, while next year will bring the 3rd annual Pride Wine Festival at San Francisco’s private club, The Academy, plus various Sonoma County winery events. In past years, OITV hosted a Big Gay Train trip, too, on the Napa Valley Wine Train, with dinner and premium bottles poured by local LGBTQ+ winemakers.
As of last year, OITV has raised more than $400,000 for Face to Face. And just as important, the gatherings fill a social need, Saperstein believes, especially after the pandemic shutdown.
“It is so valuable to be able to bring people back together, especially the gay community that thrives on being together,” Saperstein said. “Aside from starting to move on from COVID, I believe people want to gather as a way to forget about the troubles going on in the world for just a brief period of time. Events take people out of the everyday life, and give them an opportunity to forget about the struggles going on.”
Below are more social resources for LGBTQ+ older adults:
DOLLY’D UP DRAG BRUNCH
Ava LaShay always looks fabulous, in varying costumes including a pink ensemble of fluffy fabric chaps, a rhinestone bikini, rhinestone belt, pink wig and make-up done to perfection. She and her William Tell Cowgirls troupe descend on William Tell House Saloon & Inn of Tomales each summer, to the delight of throngs of people gathering to toss handfuls of dollar bills at the performers (or shower them with more moolah from a Make it Rain Money gun).
The highly dramatic musical shows sell out, and guests fuel their cheering with cocktails and bites like Tomales Bay oysters, Stemple Creek beef sliders, smoked salmon flatbread and chicken and waffles. The next shows are July 16 and Aug, 20 with performances at 11 a.m. and another at 2:30 p.m. Tickets are $10.
LAZY BEAR WEEK
From Aug. 1-8, hundreds of hairy, burly and lazy revelers will converge on the Russian River town of Guerneville for this extravaganza of pool parties, hikes, barbecues, wine tours, shows, dances, feasts, mini golf and beach bonfires. Profits from the weekend go to local, national and international charities.
CURRY SENIOR CENTER
The San Francisco organization operates programs to help connect LGBTQ+ adults 55-plus in social activities. Popular weekly groups include the “Lunch Bunch” meeting over meals, the “Revolting Seniors” podcast recording sessions where participants can share issues of all types and the “Ageless” support group for transgender and gender nonconforming older adults.