Deep thoughts, cheap shots & bon mots
What I hear is that Colin Kaepernick has trust issues with the 49ers’ ownership and front office. He believes his three injuries — shoulder, thumb and knee — were, let’s just say, mishandled by the team.
Chip Kelly wants a really, really, really smart quarterback who can make snap decisions and instant reads from the pocket, right? So how about Peyton Manning for one season, with Jared Goff understudying the master?
That bronze statue of Gaylord Perry, coming soon to the Giants’ ballpark collection, is already a talking piece. The statue will stand near the Giants’ Wall of Fame, which does not include a certain home run king. Do the Giants embrace cheaters or not?
Suggested inscription on the Gaylord Perry statue: “He put the ‘K’ in K-Y Jelly.”
Sagacious sports sage Sam Spear (say that fast five times) says if the A’s want to create some buzz and sell tickets (there is no evidence that they care to do either of those things), they will sign a certain free-agent pitcher — we’ll call him Slim Tim.
When I e-mail my boss that I need to take a sick day, I include an Eli Manning face.
What is a legal catch in the NFL? All I know is that on a sideline play, for the receiver to be declared inbounds he must execute an NBA-style Eurostep.
Does USA Basketball really need to hold a 31-man tryout camp to determine the 12-man Olympic team roster? Say, this Curry kid looks pretty good.
How would you like to be the USA Basketball turk assigned to knock on the hotel doors of 19 NBA stars and tell them, “Coach Popovich wants to see you. And bring your playbook”?
Sorry, Terrell Owens, but apparently football is a team sport. If you want to get to a Hall of Fame, I suggest you give figure skating a whirl.
All you nice people in Wisconsin, Iowa, North Dakota, etc.: We gave you the blimp shots of the Bay Area all Super Bowl week, and now we’re beaming you TV postcards from Pebble Beach, showing you “the ocean, bright with gold.” If you haven’t already packed the family and belongings into the pickup truck and headed West, we can’t help you.
Peyton Manning goes to Disneyland, and all Super Bowl MVP Von Miller gets is this stupid Mickey Mouse T-shirt. Sure, cute quarterbacks sell more Disneyland tickets than snarly linebackers sell, but shouldn’t the man going to the happiest place on earth be the Super Bowl MVP?
Cam Newton just signed a contract with Disney to play the eighth dwarf: Mopey.