On the rocks

VALENTINE’S DAY

Valentine’s Day is here. And as it goes every year, couples and would-be wooers feel the pressure to create a romance-filled evening out on the town. Champagne bottles will be popped, pricey special menus for two will be consumed and marriage proposals may be made (and hopefully accepted).

However, not all date nights can be winners. Rather than the usual flowery tales of love that make the rounds for the holiday, we here at Food + Home have opted to focus on tales of would-be romantic dinner dates ... gone awry. We’ve shared some of our own tales, as well as anecdotes from industry professionals at some of the city’s most romantic restaurants.

Franck LeClerc, owner of Gitane, Gaspar and Cafe Claude: “A few years ago on Valentine’s Day, one of our guests came to Cafe Claude early in the morning with an engagement ring (4+ carat) and asked us to put it in our flourless chocolate cake dessert at the bottom of the cup. Later that evening, the guest and his date joined us for dinner, which happened to be during one of the busiest times that night at the restaurant. After their dinner, two desserts arrived and were presented to them. The desserts ended up getting switched during the delivery, and instead of his soon-to-be fiancé getting the ring, he got the surprise dessert. Not knowing the ring was in his dessert, he swallowed it and spent the rest of the evening in our bathroom trying to get it out. Thankfully, he successfully got the ring out and they were able to continue their celebration with quite the story to tell!”

Luis Ramirez, busser at Cafe Claude: “During dinner on Valentine’s Day, I remember a couple arguing at a table. The argument went on for some time and continued to escalate. Things got so bad that the woman ended up pouring the hot soup that had just arrived for her on the gentleman’s head and walked out. Surprisingly, he ended up staying to finish his dinner.”

Sarah Fritsche: “It was the early 2000s and a certain fella (with whom I was head-over-heels smitten with at the time) invited me out for a meal — at Denny’s. I can’t recall what he ordered, but I think I went with Moons Over My-Hammy. At the end of our meal, he broke the news that he was moving to L.A. and that he wanted us to just be friends. As it turned out, he also didn’t happen to have any cash on him, so I ended up paying for the whole meal. Thankfully, it was Denny’s.”

Jonathan Kauffman: “In the early noughts, when I

was reviewing restaurants for the East Bay Express, I took a guy I was dating to an Emeryville bar famous for its chicken wings — you could order them by the basket or the hundred. (Taking someone on a review: a cheap date for all involved.) The man next to us struck up a conversation, then handed us his card. “I run an adult entertainment business in Hayward, so if you ever need strippers for a party, just give me a call,” he told us. The card read “Drippin’ Wettt Entertainment.” The meaning of the third T was unclear, let alone the second, but the card was illustrated with a couple of cherries that appeared to be crying.”

Paolo Lucchesi: “I once went to lunch with a girl and she ordered wheat toast with mayonnaise.”

Paul Einbund, beverage director at Frances/Octavia: “There’s a guy who has a little bit of fame in our industry who used to come into our restaurant with obvious “rentals” — at one of the fancier places I worked at. He came in with two “rentals” — ladies — and they all got up and went to the restroom together at the same time. We were left wondering how to deal with it. Truth is we had two bathrooms, so it wasn’t really disrupting the guests. So we just closed our eyes.”

David Nichol, owner of Sociale: “There was a recent episode where a couple was having a date and it started getting a little testy. The man got up and left his female companion crying at the table. One of our regulars (a man) who spends a fair amount of time at our bar went over to the table to console the crying woman. Half an hour later, the original man on the date walked back into the restaurant only to see our regular bar patron eating his food and enjoying the company of his date he left behind.”

“I once went to lunch with a girl and she ordered wheat toast with mayonnaise.”

Paolo Lucchesi