San Francisco Chronicle

Best place to meet with long-distance online crush

- By Jeanne Phillips Write to Dear Abby at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 or www.dearabby.com. Universal Press Syndicate

Dear Abby: For the last five months, I have been talking to a guy I met via a dating app. We live a few states apart and have yet to meet in person. With my tax refund this year, I’d like to do something for me. He suggested that I visit him. I don’t get any red flags from him, and I’m sure I’d be 100 percent safe. However, I’m anxious about taking a trip to visit a guy I’ve developed a massive crush on. I have thought about offering to pay his way here instead, or simply not going at all. Some of my friends and family think I should go, while others say I should pay his way here. I need advice from an outsider’s perspectiv­e. Confused and Crushing

Dear C& C: I vote for having your friend come and visit you. That way your family and friends can meet him, and if your massive crush doesn’t live up to your expectatio­ns, you won’t be alone in a strange city.

Dear Abby: I live in a house with my husband, his 11-yearold son and my husband’s father. I am pregnant with my first child and I get cravings for chocolate. I sometimes hide my special chocolates in my armoire so I don’t have to worry about my sugar-crazed son getting to them. However, I have recently found out that he goes through my things to find the goodies. I feel he has stepped over the line and violated my privacy. My husband and I have confronted him about it more than once, and each time he lies and argues before he eventually admits it. We have talked to him about privacy and make sure to give him his privacy in his room. How can we turn his behavior around and make him see that he is being disrespect­ful toward me? Pregnant Chocolate Lover

Dear Chocolate Lover: There should be consequenc­es for misbehavio­r, and they should be explained to the boy. He should also understand there will be more severe consequenc­es for lying to cover it up. Because you know the boy cannot be trusted, put a lock on the closet or cupboard where you stow your stash, or on your bedroom door.

Dear Abby: My husband and I have been happily married for 38 years. Almost everything is great, except that the wife of his best friend, “Ted,” has the hots for my husband. We all get along well, but it’s obvious her interest is mostly in my husband, not me. Ted has no idea his wife feels this way, but several people have pointed it out, and I have observed the way she acts. I have talked to my husband about it. He in no way is interested in her. I would never want to jeopardize my husband’s friendship with Ted, and I enjoy being friends with them both, but I’m uncomforta­ble about her feelings for my husband. Can I say something to her and let her know how I feel without ruining the friendship with her or the one my husband has with Ted? Situation in Austin, Texas

Dear Situation: Probably not. While it wouldn’t change the relationsh­ip your husband has with Ted, if you address this with his wife and tell her you know she has been lusting after your husband, it’s sure to cause embarrassm­ent. And that’s not conducive to a close friendship.

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