Show wears well, menu wears thin
Some things never seem to change. When AsiaSF opened in 1998, the entertainment evoked a vocabulary of wonderment. The servers were men dressed as women, and at the time were billed as “gender illusionists.” Every night, they would dance and lip-sync to various female singers on the long bar, surrounded by diners.
Reaction was always the same: “Is that really a man?,” followed by embellishments and compliments. (“Wow, those legs are better than most women’s.”) Even 18 years later, you’ll overhear the same questions and comments sweeping through the audience.
Originally, owners Larry Hashbarger and Skip Young were quick to say that the performers were not drag queens. However, some things do change. Now, in the era of Caitlyn Jenner and unisex bathrooms, the restaurant proudly declares its niche on its website: “We are proud to bring this positive, trans-awareness experience to all guests.” And sure enough, the performers — no longer all Asian — have changed sexes, or are in the process.
Yet what so captivated me as a restaurant critic in 1998 was that the food was good. Thenchef Matthew Metcalf produced innovative fare such as a ground ahi burger with teriyaki glaze and horseradish-laced coleslaw, or firecracker salmon encased in a spring roll.
The food dovetailed with a sexy atmosphere: a long red bar that doubles as a stage, walls of Plexiglas that rhythmically change color through the night, and a series of modern hanging lights. The entire experience was so good that it garnered three stars.
Returning last week, I found many things much the same — the same interior, the same willing crowd and even the same Whitney Houston song. And there was virtually the same menu, although the restaurant has switched from an a la carte to a fixed-price format. On weeknights, three courses are a relative bargain at $39; on weekends, it jumps to $49 or $59, depending on the time. There’s no cover charge — though diners can leave performers a tip in addition to what they add for service.
What wasn’t the same was the cooking execution, which has strayed from the precision I remember.
The ahi burger, which is cut in quarters and served as an appetizer course, tasted most the way I remember, although the accompanying slices of carrots couldn’t decide whether they wanted to be pickled or simply raw. Grilled shrimp salad with shredded Chinese cabbage in a Thai vinaigrette was good, but the shrimp tasted fried, greasy and cold rather than grilled.
Mussels were advertised as being in a spicy red curry and makrut lime broth but needed an infusion of flavor, and the mussels were so small that some weren’t worth fishing out of the shell. A generous portion of pork ribs tasted good at first, but by the fourth one, the warmed-over flavor dominated.
Filet mignon arrived on a black plate with five starshaped potatoes, a tuft of enoki mushrooms and a container of Korean dipping sauce. Another entree, miso-glazed salmon, came propped on black forbidden rice surrounded by tomato and edamame salad. Upon viewing the dishes, a friend got right to the point: “I feel like I’m eating food from the first-class cabin of an airplane.”
At least it’s better than tourist class. The restaurant no longer has a chef on board but instead has employed a kitchen manager, who executes the menu. While there are glimmers of what it used to be, overall the dishes feel canned and done by rote.
Cocktails ($12) lean to the sweet side and come in Technicolor — fuchsia in the World Famous AsiaSF Cosmo, or bright blue in the Jasmine’s Tarantula cocktail, a take on the margarita, made with Tequila, blue Curacao and too much sweet and sour. A few sips and my teeth started to ache. Next time I’ll stick to something like 209 Gin ($12) with tonic or a Glenlivet 12-year-old Scotch ($12) on the rocks.
At dessert, diners can still get the three mini ice cream cones. There’s also a Thai coconut black rice pudding with mango and fresh berries, which like the cocktails that started the evening was too sweet.
The main draws are the ladies of AsiaSF, who are always outgoing and fun. Since they double as servers, there may be a few lulls in service when they are performing or changing costumes, but others will step in to help.
Just about everyone there on a midweek evening was from out of town — groups from Florida, San Diego and Mexico — and most were celebrating a birthday, upcoming marriage or other special event.
By the time the performers finish their second show, which may include bursts of water from the bar hose as one performer mimes to “Car Wash,” it’s obvious everyone is having a good time. For good reason, too: In the end, most visitors to AsiaSF will remember the performers, not the food.