MY ARTS COLUMN
‘Bruce Conner: It’s All True’
The subject: Bruce Conner Where: SFMOMA Price: Your complete patience
Anyone who’s ever had a 15-year-old son understands Bruce Conner’s career. They may not know WHO he is, but they’ve experienced his type, because Conner is basically their friggin’ teenage son. Seriously, with richer parents, my son could pretty much have Bruce Conner’s career: He dabbled in some sculpture, some collage, some half-assed films, and even directed a few cheap music videos. I mean, that’s pretty much Spike Jonze, but without his Spiegel trust fund. Conner is like fine art’s David Bowie, who never stayed in one place long enough to know if he sucked (well, except his 1980s albums). That describes my boy, Jared. He’s been a photographer (couldn’t draw), an illustrator (couldn’t read), a filmmaker (couldn’t write), and a writer (too lazy to work). Now he’s gonna be a Bernie Sanders protester (still too lazy to work). Bruce Conner’s career gave hope to losers like my son.
My third wife: A work of art?
Bruce Conner’s first famous artworks were called “nylonshrouded assemblages.” That describes my third wife, Eleanor, to a T. I’m serious, in the morning she qualified as a collage.
Robert Wyland
This show of Conner’s art just throws me back into my son’s freshman year in “art” school. The gothy murk, the dystopian worldview, the lame obsession with the Cure — it’s all there. I tried pointing out artist Robert Wyland to him. That dude painted whales, and
stuck with it. He painted like 8,000 whales and made millions and met Cher, Charo and Tony Orlando — I’m talking super successful. Airline magazines wrote about Wyland. Airline magazines. But, nooo, my son thinks airline magazine are BELOW him. Well, actually, Jared, they are ABOVE you, by friggin’ 35,000 feet. Thanks, Bruce Conner.
‘I am not Bruce Conner’ buttons
Conner’s attention span was so bad he even issued buttons in 1963 that questioned whether he was still himself or not. At least in 1978 S.F. Chronicle reporters could blame “Zodiac” fear (see Fig. A above).