Scott Ostler:
LeBron James and the Cavaliers pose the first of two major challenges for Warriors this week.
The Warriors’ two home games this week are for all the pastries.
Monday they host the Cavaliers and Wednesday the Thunder, and he who bakes last bakes best.
Cavs star LeBron James hosted a Halloween party last year at which he served cookies shaped like tombstones, frosted with RIP epitaphs for Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson.
Thunder star Russell Westbrook celebrated the Fourth of July by Instagramming plates of holiday cupcakes. It was the same day Kevin Durant announced his move from Oklahoma City to Oakland. Cupcakes are code for “soft,” the clear message being that Durant had taken the easy road.
The only way for the Warriors to escape a pie in the face this week is to win Monday and Wednesday.
Not that any of the players pay attention to that off-court fun.
The Cavaliers practiced in San Francisco on Sunday morning, and I asked James about his statement three days earlier that he doesn’t consider Warriors versus Cavaliers to be a rivalry.
“Did I say it?” he asked, looking a bit puzzled. “I don’t know what I said.”
Are the two teams rivals?
“I don’t know,” James said. “I don’t think we have a rival in our game today. We’ve had two great Finals appearances last two years. But I had the same with the Spurs when I was in Miami. I think I played those guys more. I wouldn’t look at it as rivals.”
He seemed sincere. But did James ever troll the Spurs with tombstone cookies, or with a skeleton playing a drum kit decorated with “3-1 lead”? I think not.
What about the Halloween party, I asked him. The decorations and cookies, were those your idea?
“Uh, it was a lot of people featured” in the party decorations and snacks, James said with a shrug. “I was also featured in there, too. That’s water under the bridge.”
Nicely played! They key to high-level trolling and jabbing is to never admit you are trolling or jabbing. Maybe LeBron was late for his party, stopped at the supermarket for treats, and all they had was “RIP Steph Curry” tombstone cookies. What’s he going to do, let his guests go hungry?
The truth is that the Warriors and Cavaliers are the best rivalry in sports right now. And for the Warriors, James is the best villain. The Rockets’ James Harden is in that discussion, and Westbrook, but it’s not even close as far as who is No. 1.
And if Warriors-Cavs isn’t a rivalry, neither were Hatfields versus McCoys. There are a lot of fan-based rivalries in sports today. Packers fans will always hate Bears fans; same with Giants versus Dodgers.
But between the lines? This ain’t the old days, when beanballs flew and, in basketball, elbows and fists. Genuine hate between two teams — even respectful contempt — is in short supply.
Warriors-Cavs is an exception.
Thompson gave us a glimpse into the hearts of the Warriors last week when he said of the Cavaliers, “They can do that childish stuff, it doesn’t matter to us.”
Thompson added, “We just want to beat them next time we see them. That’s how it is. Hold that (thoughts of James’ trolling) in the memory bank and just remember that they do that stuff.”
James is a great villain for the Warriors and their fans for two reasons.
One, he’s a force of nature on the court. He will break your hearts and steal your rings.
Two, he’s very clever. Did he intentionally taunt the fallen Draymond Green in Game 4 of the Finals last year by stepping over him? Or was it, as James pleaded, simply an accident?
Stepping off the team plane in Cleveland after beating the Warriors, was James really wearing that Ultimate Warrior T-shirt because it was what he happened to grab when he reached into his suitcase?
Is James the reincarnation of Eddie Haskell, the snarky TV character who put on a phony show of politeness for his pals’ parents?
James certainly didn’t have anything snarky to say Sunday about the Warriors. As usual, he was pleasant and nonconfrontational with the media, thoughtful with his answers, even allowing an extra question or two after a team PR man tried to cut off the session.
Asked about the difference between last season’s Warriors and this season’s, James said, “They’re even more dangerous than last year, and that’s pretty hard to say. They were a great team last year, even better this year . ... They’re a great team, probably one of the best teams ever assembled.”
Maybe it was just a coincidence, but a moment later, answering a different question, James said of his Cavs, “It’s not like we’re one of the best teams ever assembled.”
That was either an accidental cross-reference, or devastatingly clever wordplay.
Three-point sharpshooter Kyle Korver, recently picked up by the Cavs, is still feeling his way with his new team, and maybe he hasn’t yet learned to take his cues from the big guy.
“It’s a rivalry, it feels like,” Korver said of Cavs-Warriors. “I don’t know how many (true rivalries) there are in the NBA right now, but this feels like it’s at the top. (Both teams) are heated, they’re competitive.”
You gotta have heat to bake cookies. And you know what they say about a hot kitchen.