Make game the center of attention
The Knicks’ experiment with retro arena ambiance Sunday was not without glitches.
The Madison Square Garden timeout spirit squad, with nothing to do in the first half, got bored and robbed a bank with T-shirt guns. Witnesses say the peppy crew escaped on Segways and roller-skate sneakers.
Police shrugged it off, saying, “Eh, the Knicks have been stealing money for years.”
Watching the game on TV, I was thrilled, but for many, the experiment was a dud. Draymond Green was mortally offended, and many fans said the arena was dead without blaring music, dancing girls, pizza-giveaway frenzies and video-screen garbage.
“So quiet at the Garden you can hear the bricks being laid,” tweeted a fan, CJ Fogler.
Stephen Curry came alive in the second half and I expected him to say, “I was out of gas, but I found new energy when I was dribbling and the organist started playing ‘Doot-doot-DOOT-doot!’ ”
It was shocking that the Knicks nixed “in-game entertainment” for the first half. Shocked that they consider that stuff “entertainment.”
I was soothingly swept back to the ’60s and ’70s, when I fell in love with an NBA extravaganza of 10 gigantic gladiators dueling on the hardwood. You want music, bring a kazoo. Never did I say to my buddies, “This would be way cooler if they had dancers with cleavage and super-loud music of a genre I don’t care for.”
When I go to a concert, I don’t wish there was a basketball game being played on stage. What’s wrong with a basketball game where the featured entertainment is basketball?
I propose a compromise. Use the video screen, but for replays only — no cartoons, promos, ads, cheerleading cues or stupid interviews with the Fan of the Game. Keep the pizza giveaway, because millionaire fans can’t afford to buy snacks. Put some variety in the music, unless every person in the arena happens to be a 23-yearold urban male. Put a straitjacket on the %&#$ soundeffects man and organist while the game is being played. Send those T-shirt-cannon folks to the U.S. Army and kiss ISIS goodbye.