MY ARTS COLUMN
‘Silicon Valley Comic Con’
The Particulars The subject: S.V. Comic Con Where: San Jose, CA Price: Your childhood
Hey, I loved comic books. I’m still more heartbroken over Gwen Stacy’s tragic death in 1973 than my own mother’s in 1978. Of course, my mother WAS the Green Goblin in my family. Anyway, I went to see this new Silicon Valley Comic Con last year and, you know, it was a lot like the San Diego Comic Con in that there were too many tables of costly, antique, nostalgic “cereal premiums.” “Cereal premiums” are the toys you got in cereal boxes back in 1973, usually related to TV cartoons like “Wacky Races” or that worst-ever one, “Josie & the Pussycats.” I lived for those toys at the time, as my Green Goblin parents refused to purchase much-better-made Tonka or Corgi vehicles for their unloved son (that’s ME, in case that sentence was just too damn long for you). I still remember my “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang” piece-of-plastic from an old box of Quisp, a now-defunct brand. It was hardly recognizable as the flying buggy from the movie, in fact it looked more like “Herbie the Love Bug” with wings stuck on it. I think Quaker Oats used the same mold to save money. And that pretty much describes my parents’ love for me: They used the same mold their parents used, but stuck wings on it. Metaphor!
‘Damaged’ Con
And YUP, I purchased that “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang” premium at last year’s Comic Con for a cool $79. Pathetic. I also bought Spider-Man #121 and 122 to relive Gwen Stacy’s tragic death. Unfortunately, Marvel didn’t put out an issue about my mother’s death, so I won’t be re-experiencing that. Which is disapppointing, because that’s what Comic Cons are really there for: re-experiencing family tragedy through ink or plastic, or even DVD-from-VHS transfers of old TV shows. I bought the ENTIRE “Kolchak: The Night Stalker” series because I swore my dang parents’ sudden deaths happened in one of its episodes. Nope. Upon rewatching, I realized that tatty vampire and raggy werewolf weren’t my folks.
Why we really don’t need Comic Cons
Family albums beat comic books. The fights/quips are WAY better.