SUMMER MOVIES WILL BE A BLAST

Mayhem aplenty to thrill your inner middle-schooler: — a preview of a rowdy lot

The cynical way to look at the 2017 summer movie season is a bleak cultural wasteland, filled with sequels to sequels, reboots of reboots and formulaic comedies. If only human beings could hibernate until Oscar season.

Which is why it’s always better to access your inner 14-year-old this time of year. Please pour an extra large Cherry Coke, doodle a Van Halen symbol on your Trapper Keeper and make flatulence noises under your armpit until you’re 100 percent stoked for the 2017 Chronicle Summer Movie Preview.

People running away from explosions in slow motion? No shortage of those in 2017! A feminist Wonder Woman movie? Yes, please! Robots that transform into cars somehow merging with a King Arthur tale? Why the heck not?

Below we’ve broken out 11 summer movies we would have been most stoked about at the end of middle school. The number of explosions in the latest trailer is included — a good measurement of how gratuitous the movie will be — along with the odds that it will be the greatest movie of the summer.

And, for readers whose inner hormonal preteen is dead inside, we’ve selected a few counterprogramming picks for the indie/art film crowd.

Speaking of expanding your horizons beyond Spider-Man and Optimus Prime: Look for our profile of filmmaker Eleanor Coppola (“Paris Can Wait”), and an interview with Debra Winger, who stars in “The Lovers” in this section. All opening dates are subject to change.