San Francisco Chronicle

Girlfriend’s mother was too close for his comfort

- Universal Press Syndicate By Jeanne Phillips Write to Dear Abby at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 or www.dearabby.com.

Dear Abby: I was in a relationsh­ip for 12 years. “Jenny” was my best friend. I had to end our relationsh­ip because she had allowed her mother to destroy it. Jenny is 35, and her mother cooks, cleans, does her laundry and makes her bed for her. I would return from work and find her mother sleeping next to her in bed every day.

It seemed to me to be her way of putting a wedge in between us. If we went to a concert, we had to buy three tickets because Jenny always had to bring her mother. When I would ask Jenny out to dinner, she would say, “Can Mom come?”

If we had an argument, her mother would get involved and it would become two against one, and I would always be in the wrong. Nothing I did was right.

Since we broke up, Jenny doesn’t speak to me. I lost my best friend, and I don’t know what to do.

Three’s Too Much Company Dear Too Much Company: Jenny’s primary relationsh­ip was — and probably forever will be — with her mother. You may have felt that Jenny was your best friend, but Jenny’s best friend is her mother — a bond that her mother works very hard to keep intact. Accept it, expand your social circle, and move on. That’s all you can do because Jenny is taken. Dear Abby: I lost my muchloved cat a year ago and would like to get another pet, but I cannot afford it. I am elderly and, while not rich, I do get by. I am a widow, and a pet would be a great comfort to me. Any ideas?

Mona in Yuba City, Sutter County Dear Mona: Have you considered fostering a cat while an animal rescue group finds a permanent home for it? Contact some in your area and ask whether they cover the cost of veterinary expenses while the cat is staying with you. You may be pleasantly surprised to find that they do. Also, contact a no-kill shelter and inquire if it’s possible to foster a pet or to volunteer there. In addition to the gratificat­ion you will get from having a furry houseguest, you will be doing the kitty a huge favor. Dear Abby: I am 64, and my live-in fiance is 73. He has no retirement or savings. He has a winter job he loves and works occasional­ly in the summer. He has contribute­d one-fifth toward my home. My problem is he wants to go out to dinner all the time. I suggest that we eat at home to save money, which is also more healthy. We have upcoming roof and boiler expenses that he won’t be able to contribute to. Any suggestion­s?

Money Management in Colorado Dear M.M.: Point out to your fiance that because of the upcoming maintenanc­e expenses, eating out as often as he wants is more than you can manage, and tell him that if he wants to eat out, he will be the one paying for it. Summer is here now, and he should arrange his work schedule so he can afford it.

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