SAYING ‘I DO’ TO TRADITION
Chinese class leads to love & an epic wedding in S.F.
Chris Chuang was not Claudia Lam’s first choice as the perfect date for her sorority formal. But with her top pick unavailable that night, she figured the friendly guy from her Chinese class would do.
“I wanted someone goodlooking and nice as an escort,” said Claudia, noting that she had one other qualification that Chris also met: no frat guys.
To say that Chris was excited is an understatement. The two attended UC Davis, and he first noticed Claudia in 2007 in an advanced Chinese class (neither of them really needed it), and the entire quarter passed without him summoning the courage to talk to her.
“I didn’t think I’d have a chance,” he said. “She wore her sorority letters, so you’d assume that she hangs out with lots of eligible dudes.”
The next quarter, they were assigned to a project together, and he realized she wasn’t that intimidating after all.
While they attended Claudia’s formal as acquaintances, by the end of the night, they were well on their way to falling in love.
“We had a chemistry I had never felt before,” Chris said. “With other girls I always had to put in a lot of effort, thinking about what we’re going to do next or talk about next. But everything felt so natural that by the end of that night, I felt I had known her for a long time. I just knew.”
Claudia said she felt similarly, and she was further convinced when she brought him to her sorority; how quickly her sisters
took to him was a true test.
“He got along with everyone so well,” she said. “He’s one of those people that everyone likes right away.”
Chris, 30, grew up in Fremont, the son of immigrants from Taiwan. He is head of business development at a startup called MixRank. Claudia, also 30, grew up in Hong Kong but came to live with relatives to attend high school in Moraga, and then stayed to attend UC Davis. After graduating in 2009, she felt it was time to return home, and the couple faced the prospect of a long-distance relationship. They weathered the distance for one year, meeting up at a family wedding or other occasions, until Chris got a job in Beijing. That meant they were only four hours apart instead of 12. Finally, after almost two years of commuting by plane, they decided they would make their home in San Francisco and moved in together. Claudia is a human resources manager for Dome Cleaning.
“Claudia is the only person who really gets me,” Chris said. “Even when we were apart for
two years, we were still together.”
In November 2015, they attended the wedding of Claudia’s sister in Bali. There, Chris told Claudia’s father that he intended to propose the following week.
He made good on his promise, getting a friend to document her surprise as she found him on bended knee on the roof of their condo complex at sunset.
They married on Nov. 5, 2016, at the Asian Art Museum in San Francisco.
While it is common for couples of Chinese heritage to incorporate a Chinese tea ceremony, that was not enough for this pair.
“Somehow I came up with the idea that we should have an ancient imperial Chinese wedding,” said Chris, who admits he got much more involved with the planning than most grooms.
They wed on the stairs of the museum looking like any American couple — but their reception was a different story. They entered the reception in red satin Hanfu outfits with gold brocade — a dragon for him, a phoenix for her — that they had custom-made in China; the style is the historical dress of the Han Chinese (although Claudia went through five wardrobe changes throughout the evening). Meanwhile, the wedding party donned outfits of bright yellow; the groomsmen held banners with their names in Chinese as they entered and the bridesmaids carried red lanterns.
Paintings by Chris’ uncle, a fine arts painter in Taiwan now deceased, decorated the cocktail hour, and wedding favors were an ancient three-pronged shot glass from the Shang dynasty. Rather than flowers, a 3-D puzzle replica of an ancient Chinese building decorated each table.
Later, guests were treated to a performance by the China Dance Theatre, a Richmond District organization that teaches traditional Chinese dance to young girls. The group doesn’t usually do private events but agreed to perform at the wedding because of its unique nature.
While some in the wedding party initially balked at the costumes they had to don for the reception, saying, “Do we really have to wear this?” the end result was worth it.
“Everyone thought it was really cool,” Claudia said.
Apparently, the museum agreed. Their wedding was featured on its blog, and it was covered in ChinaDaily.com.
“They definitely took a much deeper dive into history than most couples do,” said Minda Quickel, facility rental program manager of the Asian Art Museum. “We have lots of weddings that celebrate a particular culture, but Chris and Claudia were dynasty-specific, going back more than a thousand years, which was very original.”