San Francisco Chronicle

Rift between lesbian wife, evangelist mother causes couple pain

- Write to Dear Abby at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 or www.dearabby.com. Universal Press Syndicate By Jeanne Phillips

Dear Abby: My wife and I met four years ago, have been married for two, and I still haven’t met her mother. My mother-inlaw, a homophobic, self-proclaimed “evangelist prophet,” refuses to acknowledg­e our union. Her behavior upsets my wife, which angers me to the point that I have no desire to ever cross paths with her. My wife sometimes cries about this wedge in their relationsh­ip, which only makes me resent my mother-in-law more. Is there something I should do or say to either of them that might possibly help all of us deal with this turmoil a little better?

Frustrated Lesbian-in-Law Dear Frustrated: If the wedge in your wife’s relationsh­ip with her evangelist prophet mother is that she is a lesbian and married, there is nothing you can do. Your mother-in-law will either, with time, come to accept it (don’t hold your breath), or your wife will learn through counseling that it is not her responsibi­lity to sacrifice her happiness to please her mother. I hope you will encourage your wife to do that. Dear Abby: I have been a daily reader of your column since I was a little girl, so your answer to my question will be valued. I eat an apple every day on my drive home from work, and when I’m done, I toss the core out the window. I try my best to support the Earth, and I believe I am feeding the rabbits and birds with my apple a day. Friends insist that what I’m doing is littering and helping neither the furry friends nor the environmen­t. Can you help solve the debate — to toss or not to toss? Thanks!

An Apple a Day Dear A.A.A.D.: I, too, love our furry and feathered creatures, but I agree with your friends. What you are doing is littering, regardless of how you’re rationaliz­ing it. If you truly want to support the Earth, keep a small container in your vehicle for the apple core and dispose of it when you get home. Dear Abby: I just got together with a guy I really like. We have been dating for about a week, but now I realize I’m just not ready to start dating. I’m 15, and I don’t feel I’m mature enough. Also, I don’t want a boyfriend because I’m moving in a month. Help! I don’t know if I should break up with him. What do I do?

California Teen Dear California Teen: Because you are moving in about a month, I don’t think breaking up in the formal sense is necessary. It couldn’t hurt to tell him you think you may have gotten serious too quickly, because getting serious after a week of dating is too quickly. I have a hunch that once you have moved, distance will solve your problem for you. P.S. Now that you realize you’re not ready to date, when you have made the move, take a break from romance and concentrat­e on your studies. You won’t be sorry.

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