San Francisco Chronicle

Christian teen conflicted about her gay friend’s idea

- By Jeanne Phillips

Dear Abby: I’m 14, starting my freshman year in high school, and will be joining lots of clubs to prepare for college. My best friend is gay, and when I asked her if she wanted to join any clubs together, she suggested the GayStraigh­t Alliance club. As a saved Christian, I am unsure how to answer. I believe Christians should treat homosexual­s with kindness and respect. I respect my friend’s decision, and I’m happy she’s happy with her life. I am afraid if my church found out, they would dislike me for joining. I feel conflicted about how to address both sides of my beliefs. Can you help? Caught in the Middle in Kentucky

Dear Caught: I, too, believe that Christians (and people of all faiths) should treat each other with kindness and respect, regardless of their sexual orientatio­n. But somewhere you got the impression that sexual orientatio­n is a choice. It isn’t. Your friend’s orientatio­n was determined before she was born, just as yours was. Wanting to support your friend by joining a GayStraigh­t Alliance is a commendabl­e thing to do, and it follows the Golden Rule. I can’t see how a church that preaches love would object to that.

Dear Abby: I am a 24-year-old college graduate who has been unable to find a full-time teaching job, so I’m working as a teaching assistant. My salary is less than average, and I am stretched thin. Recently, a woman has been talking to me about nannying for her child after school. She’d like to hire me and have me meet her child in person, and we agreed on an hourly rate. I was excited about the opportunit­y.

This week she told me she wants to report my work for her on her taxes, which means I’ll have to pay estimated quarterly taxes. Abby, this is unheard of in the babysittin­g world! I have been babysittin­g since my preteens, and never have taxes been part of the conversati­on. My mother says I shouldn’t be upset because the woman is doing what she’s supposed to as far as the IRS is concerned, but I feel shortchang­ed. Am I wrong for asking her for more money per hour to make up for some of the taxes? After-School Nanny

Dear Nanny: William R. Turner, CPA, says your mother is correct. Your prospectiv­e employer is obeying the law. She wants you to meet her child, negotiate an hourly rate and hire you as a nanny, not as a babysitter. Your new employer should have you fill out a form W-4 and pay you as an employee. Because payroll deductions will be taken out of your gross pay by your new employer, you should negotiate your hourly rate accordingl­y. Write to Dear Abby at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 or www.dearabby.com.

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