Deep thoughts, cheap shots & bon mots ...
Seriously, I can fix the NBA All-Star Game. The problem is zero defense. The solution: Add one player to the pool, making it 25 All-Stars. Divide them into five five-man teams. Team A plays Team B, first team to 30 points wins, winner stays on, just like on every playground. First team to win five games is the champ, and each player on that team gets $1 million. Losers get nothing, and each loser must wear rival-brand shoes for the next three regular-season games. Instant defense.
This is how deeply we care about the national anthem: If you watched last Sunday’s Raiders-Cardinals game on Fox TV, while the anthem was played at the stadium in Arizona, back home you had the opportunity to stand and salute Nationwide Insurance, TrueCar and Modelo beer.
Heyyy, how did Mexican beer sneak in during our national anthem?
If “Nationwide is on your side,” what happens when the joker who rear-ends you also has Nationwide insurance?
Another suggestion for the NBA: The Gatorade League (formerly D League) will experiment with four refs. The NBA should follow suit, but the fourth ref should be a trained acting coach whose job will be to call flops. James Harden would soon be playing in the G League.
It’s easy for Giants fans to clamor for Giancarlo Stanton. The reason it’s easy: It makes perfect sense, even if the Giants have to give up Brandon Crawford and five top prospects. Good Lord, Buster Posey and Stanton batting 3-4?
Brian Sabean says of the evaluation of the 98-loss season, “The autopsy has been going on for months. Fortunately, the patient didn’t die.” There’s a serious problem right there. If you conduct an autopsy on a live patient, you will do some damage. Maybe what the Giants need is a new coroner.
The Warriors’ jaunt to China, which I guess team owners and management had to sign off on, is great for the league, marketing-wise. But I have to think when Steve Kerr heard about that trip he went all “The Scream.”
Shanny’s new trigonometry: Head coach Kyle Shanahan speaks of wanting his 49ers to “play well on all three sides of the ball.” Right now they’re having trouble with the hypotenuse. (Thank you, spell check.)