Love interest doesn’t get a pass on texting courtesy

Dear Miss Manners: Iam recently divorced and now dating a woman who lives in another state. We text back and forth all day long, except when I am with family or friends.

I do not answer her calls or text when I am with other people because I think it is rude. If I do answer her texts, it is sporadic and with quick replies. Obviously, she does not agree with me and thinks if I value her and our relationship, I would answer at any time, especially if I am with my family, so they will take our relationship seriously because I am recently divorced.

What are your thoughts about answering cell phones and texting while in the presence of others? Gentle Reader: That if your lady friend does not occasionally look up from her telephone, she is going to run into something.

Miss Manners means this metaphorically. If your lady friend believes your relationship is serious, then presumably she is hoping you will one day live in the same state, possibly even in the same house. When that day comes, she will no longer find it charming to have you texting while a family member is speaking. Explaining that you would never think of texting while you are with her — and that you extend the same courtesy to intimate friends and family — may avert future collisions. Dear Miss Manners: A new chair was recently hired for my department. He and his wife have been in town a few months and are gradually getting to know the rest of the faculty.

Miss Manners, the wife’s hairstyle is frankly grotesque. She wears it wildly teased and sprayed like a country singer from the ’70s. She is a nice lady, but everyone is tittering and making derisive comments behind her back. Can she (and her husband) truly be unaware of how inappropriate she looks? How, if at all, should this be addressed? Gentle Reader: Does your college have a coiffure code? And do you really propose to enforce one unilaterally?

Miss Manners warns you that to level criticism in any way will make your life a misery. You would only be asking people to judge your own stylistic choices.

Besides, there is only so much that can be done with hair, and therefore styles have a way of reappearing as if new. For all you know, the students, who weren’t born in the ’70s, might love and imitate this look, and you could soon see it all around the campus.

Dear Miss Manners: My mom does so much for me, and I would really like to thank her. She is especially hard to buy presents for, and because most of my money comes from her in the first place (I’m not old enough to work), buying her a gift she probably won’t like seems pointless. She seems sad lately, and I want to cheer her up.

I’ve started to help her cook, but because I am still learning, this creates even more work for her. I was wondering if you had any ideas for something thoughtful I could do to cheer her up and show her how grateful I am.

Gentle Reader: Write her a letter telling her about your gratitude and your love, with examples of incidents and occasions that were special to you, and that you will always remember. If Miss Manners is moved by this, she can only imagine how much your mother will be.

Send questions to Miss Manners’ website: www.missmanners.com; to her email address: dearmiss manners@gmail.com; or through postal mail: Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.