Where do we learn to sexually harass each other? Why, in school, of course
Locker-room talk. That’s what Donald Trump called the tape that went viral last year, showing him boasting about sexually assaulting women. He didn’t do the bad things on the tape, Trump said; he simply talked about them. Like you would, say, in a locker room at school.
So, where do men learn how to sexually harass women? In locker rooms, of course. And in the cafeteria. And in the hallway. And in the parking lot.
That’s also the elephant in the room when it comes to sexual harassment in America. Every day brings another exposé about a celebrity who has harassed women: Harvey Weinstein, Mark Halperin, Louis C.K., and many more. Legions of less famous men — nobody knows how many — do the same ugly things, over and over. But all of them probably encountered sexual harassment for the first time — as a perpetrator, a bystander or a victim — in school.
According to a 2011 study by the American Association of University Women, nearly half of surveyed students in grades seven through 12 had experienced sexual harassment at school in the previous school year. And although boys also encounter harassment, girls are more frequently targeted by it.
The most common experience, for male and female victims alike, is verbal harassment: unwelcome sexual comments, gestures or jokes. But girls are more likely to suffer physical intrusions, especially the touching of their shoulders, buttocks and breasts.
Not surprisingly, the most frequent harassers are boys. But students are sexually harassed by teachers, too. According to to an AAUW study in 1993, one-quarter of surveyed girls and 10 percent of boys in grades 8 to 11 reported being sexually harassed by a school employee.
The cases that get most of the attention are outright abuse, in which a teacher has sex with a student. Much more common — and much less discussed — are teachers’ inappropriate comments about students’ bodies, appearance and sexual orientation.
When I was a high school history teacher three decades ago, a colleague bounded into my office while I was reviewing an essay with a student. “Are you helping this young lady with her history?” he asked. I mumbled an embarrassed assent, and he replied, “That will give her brains and beauty, too.”
That’s a long way from the kind of filth spouted by Weinstein and the other celebrities who routinely pressed women for sexual favors. But every kind of harassment takes its toll, particularly on young women. In the 2011 AAUW study, nearly a quarter of high school girls said that sexual harassment had caused them to have trouble sleeping. And almost a third said it had made them not want to go to school.
So what can we do about it? Ever since the courts ruled that schools can be held liable if they ignore sexual harassment, districts have developed policies requiring staff and students to report harassment when they witness it. But among students who have been harassed, fewer than 10 percent say they have told a teacher or guidance counselor.
Other schools have developed curricula to teach students about sexual harassment, including bystander training that encourages them to challenge inappropriate behavior. That’s all for the good, and we should give the educators who develop such programs our full support.
But I’d also ask them to build upon the recent scandals, which provide a truly teachable moment. Whenever a new icon from Hollywood or Washington gets flagged for sexual harassment, every school should devote class time to discussing what he did. And there’s no need to be shy about it. Our students live on their phones — and in a 24/7 celebrity culture — so they’ll already know the salacious details of the offending behavior.
What they won’t know — unless we really talk to them — is what’s offensive about it. Why, exactly, is it bad for a boss or manager to proposition an employee? Or to praise her physical appearance? When is that kind of comment a compliment, and when does it become harassment?
And if it’s wrong for Harvey Weinstein to make lewd remarks, why is it OK for a student — or a teacher — to make them? That will bring the discussion down from the celebrity celestials and into the everyday reality of school, including — yes — the locker room.
After the Trump tape broke, most schools ignored it: too gross, too crude, too hot to handle. That was a mistake, and we shouldn’t repeat it. The news about Weinstein, Louis C.K., and all of the other celebrities represents a tremendous opportunity to educate our young people about sexual harassment. Let’s hope that our schools have the courage to seize it.