Crabtree winds up in need of lessons
Line drives, loud fouls and six-hop dribblers ...
The Raiders should hire a boxing instructor for wide receiver/jewelry model Michael Crabtree. Throwing a punch at Denver’s Aqib Talib, the crabby Crab featured a bigger windup than Madison Bumgarner’s. Stick ’n’ jab, Crab!
Giancarlo Stanton reportedly favors the Dodgers. With all due respect to the Giants, if you’re Stanton, which team would you choose?
But the Dodgers, per our Henry Schulman, are trimming salary. So the Giants could land Stanton by default.
Kyle Shanahan should consider alternating his quarterbacks for humanitarian reasons. C.J. Beathard bit the dust 16 times Sunday. “The kid can really take a beating,” marveled Evel Knievel from beyond the grave.
The prez says NFL attendance is down because of fan anger at protesting players. On Sunday at Levi’s, 12 Seahawks protested during the anthem. I believe that’s tops in the league. I checked the Seahawks’ attendance figures. Even though they lost key players and are not as good or as exciting, their attendance, home and road, is virtually identical to last season. So maybe the protests have given the league an attendance boost.
Here’s your protest: @gingerkid1616 tweeted from Levi’s on Sunday that his/her chili dog was cold, overpriced ($12.50) and jammed into a poppy-seed bun. Hey, Kid, maybe they thought you asked for a chilly dog. Or frilly dog.
Shohei Ohtani’s agents ask interested MLB teams to submit a detailed report on how they would handle and take care of the young Japanese pitcher/outfielder. Earth to agents: Bag the essay contest. The lowliest MLB player is pampered like a rock star. All you need is an iron-clad guarantee that your man will be allowed to pitch and hit on a regular basis.
You went to the 49ers’ game Sunday and your biggest gripe was a bad chili dog? That’s like Mrs. Lincoln panning the popcorn. Scott Ostler is a San Francisco Chronicle columnist. Email: sostler@sfchronicle.com Twitter: @scottostler