Deep thoughts, cheap shots & bon mots ...
When the Pulitzer committee comes knocking, I’ll flip that switch. Until then, enjoy these cruise-control deep thoughts, cheap shots & bon mots ...
That Warriors’ switch must be like the one in Dr. Frankenstein’s laboratory. Dr. Kerrenstein will throw that fearsome switch just as soon as Igor returns with the spare parts.
But, as Jack Nicholson asked in one of his movies, “What if this is as good as it gets?” If this is what the Warriors are, a team suffering from MMM Syndrome — mysteriously middling motivation — the playoffs will be an interesting ride. It could be, to paraphrase Moses “Fo-fo-fo”
Malone, “Seven-seven-sevenseven.”
Speaking of Nicholson: Has Laker Fan No. 1 packed on 100 pounds for a movie role? Jack used to sit on the Lakers’ sideline, now he is the Lakers’ sideline.
Colin Kaepernick has been awarded the Sports Illustrated Muhammad Ali Legacy Award. Sure, after President
Trump turned it down. Several MLB teams are making their presentations to Japanese phenom Shohei Ohtani. If I’m the Giants, this would be the presentation: “We just traded for Giancarlo Stanton.”
Perfect, right? The 49ers get to test-drive Jimmy Garoppolo for five games. If he looks terrible, let him go. If he looks good, franchise him and extend the test drive for an entire season. No problem!
But wait. What if Garoppolo looks great for these five games, the 49ers franchise him, but upon longer inspection
he turns out to be Brian
Hoyer in a Fonzi wig? The 49ers will have wasted another season, $25 million, and blown a golden opportunity to draft a top quarterback.
That said, I like Jimmy G’s chances. After last Sunday’s game, he slipped into a shortsleeved shirt with tight sleeves that he rolled up to show off
the guns. Call it quiet confidence and style.
The Bears have vivid and painful memories of the last time the 49ers trotted out a hot new quarterback at midseason, taking over for the injured starter. Five years ago, Kaepernick made his first NFL start against da Bears, on “Monday Night Football.” Stats: 16-for-23, 243 yards, 32-7 win. High bar for Jimmy G.
Memo to Giants: Pull the trigger on the Stanton deal. The world is doomed to explode in a nuclear fireball before New Year’s Eve. Give your fans something to smile about while they’re waiting.
Since Michael Crabtree rarely speaks for himself, it was cool that teammate David
Amerson explained the significance of defending oneself against a chain-snatcher: On the streets, it’s a test of manhood. I can’t dispute that, I’m not Mr. Street. But it seems like when you become a member of a team, you’re on a new street, and the test of manhood is helping your brothers by staying in the game and catching the football. I respectfully disagree with
Bruce Jenkins and others who say Lonzo Ball’s unorthodox three-point shot will start falling, just give it time. And yes, I did see Ball swish three in a row against the Warriors. Jerry West once explained the jump shot to me: “It’s a lever. It’s a simple lever.” Lonzo’s jumper ain’t simple. He might improve, but he will approach Curryesque efficiency only in his father’s dreams. Sometimes you can skirt the laws of physics, but you can’t openly mock them.
Speaking of LaVar Ball ,he should have learned from the
Curry family. When Steph was 15, Dell forced his son to change his jump shot, switching to a higher starting point and a higher release. The change was painful and took about five months, but apparently it was a good idea.
Lonzo can play, though, and he’s got the perfect coach.
Luke Walton’s sense of fun will loosen up the ultra-serious rookie. Also, Walton is steeped in the value of basketball-as-theater, from his Laker days and from his Warrior days, so he will appreciate the value of the showmanship and excitement the kid can bring, if he is given creative freedom.
You might say Walton is juggling a lot of Balls. Just two, but that’s a lot. Fortunately, Luke is no stranger to eccentric dads.
Draymond Green ,on Matt Barnes: “Everyone painted a picture of him as the worst guy, but he was the best teammate.” That will teach us to not believe everything we read on police blotters.
Don’t tell pro athletes: Scientists have discovered that dolphins get high by chewing on pufferfish. But they do it for medicinal porpoises only.