Year-end quiz now tradition — no, really

Now that I have lived to the ripe old age of patriarch, I have realized that anything Fisher-Paulsons do for two years in a row is a tradition. So if I say that we are going to eat corned beef, barmbrack and soda bread on the Saturday before St. Patrick’s Day, and if I do serve corned beef a year later, by the third year, the aunts and uncles, the titas and titos, knock on the door of the Bedlam Bungalow in the outer, outer, outer Excelsior, a tray of lumpia or a bottle of wine in hand, the perfect pairing to the cake with a coin inside.

On the Island of Lost Boys, in the outer, outer Excelsior, tradition is for the most part a good thing. When we first adopted, a social worker told me that the absolute best thing that we could do for a foster child was to make his life predictable, that foster children do not like surprise parties. My sons trust that breakfast and dinner are in the kitchen, that homework must be done before iPad and that snacky dinners come once a month. They know that on New Year’s Eve I will fall asleep sometime around 10:30.

Last year, I borrowed a tradition from one of the greats, Jon Carroll. His column, just after Christmas, contained a quiz. He, being very smart, knew terms like “actroterion” and “Aelia Capitolina.” I never once got more than three answers right. Having earned my own degree sine laude, I asked much more mundane questions last year, but lo and behold, it filled a little bit of the void left behind by that giant. This is the second, and therefore, the traditional Fisher-Paulson Annual Post-Christmas, Pre-New Year’s, Somewhere-around-Boxing-Day Quiz.

Here are the disclaimers: 1. The answers must spring from your brow, and not from the Internet. Despite Crazy Mike’s best efforts, the answers to most of these questions can be found somewhere in the ether, but it is better, by far, to puzzle the matter out for yourself. 2. The answers that I come up with are my answers, which is to say, not necessarily your answers, or even the right answers, for that matter. Last year, I asked the readers about burials in San Francisco, and I got about 20 responses, many of which illuminated me, and only one of which disturbed me. The answers will come next week, which means that this is the only column of the year that is a cliffhanger. 3. The questions, on the other hand, are not my questions, generally, but rather the product of the collective genius of Mrs. E., Crazy Mike and M. Barcadero. The secret of true genius is to surround yourself with geniuses. 4. This is not “Jeopardy.” The only prizes involved in this quiz are selfesteem and bragging rights. I, for one, intend on telling people that I got all the answers right. 5. To quote Jon Carroll: “It’s just a quiz.”

Ready? Go grab a cup of mulled wine and a slice of barmbrack and let’s do this: 1. In the Abbott and Costello routine “Who’s on first?,” what is the only fielding position not mentioned? 2. Streets of San Francisco: Last year, I asked about the steepest. This year, what is the name of the longest street? 3. What is the only number to have its letters in alphabetical order? 4. What is San Francisco’s official musical instrument? 5. What is the first number to contain the letter “A”? 6. The American Bell System was named after Alexander Graham Bell. Who was the Canadian Bell System named after? 7. What do Louis Armstrong, John Wayne, Frank Sinatra, Gerald Ford,

and common? Bill and Hillary Clinton all have in 8. from How Ronald, is Tom Brent, Constanten Vince and different Keith? 9. Bridge? What color is the Golden Gate 10. What do Lesotho, San Marino and the Vatican have in common? 11. What sport begins with a “T” and has four letters? 12. Who was the first president born in the United States? 13. How long is a jiffy? 14. Whose statue stands in the middle of Washington Square Park? 15. On what copyrighted photo would you see, from left to right, respectively, a baritone horn, a Wagner tuba, a trumpet, an English horn and a piccolo?

16. Should auld acquaintance be forgot: The practice of making a New Year’s resolution dates back to the Babylonians. What is the No. 1 resolution on New Year’s Eve?