Union Squared
High drama for pair of music lovers.
Romantic complications — from a Baroque-era cross-dressing female warrior onstage to misconstrued Millennial dating rituals — were the libretto for the cute-yet-confusedmeet of Jessica Jacob and Zachary Townsend at the San Francisco Opera in October 2014.
“Zac and I are the same height,” recalled Jessica, with a laugh. “But that night I wore 4½-inch heels, creating an interesting sight dynamic. I wasn’t even thinking about Zac as a date. In Facebook parlance, my relationship at the time was, ‘It’s complicated.’ ”
And for Jessica at least, their introduction at a dress rehearsal of Handel’s “Partenope” was all business. She’s a member of the Opera’s “Orpheus” society — a dynamic community of 21- to 40 year-old supporters.
Zachary, a member of the San Francisco Symphony’s board of governors, and the former chief data officer for the State of California, was “on a list of people for Jessica to ‘cultivate,’ ” he recalled. “And the opera assigned a beautiful young woman to discuss our shared love of classical music.”
Jessica, 33, who grew up in San Jose, believes “donating your time and money to a cause you love is very important.” She credits her father, John, with fueling her love of classical music. She graduated from Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo with a degree in economics and a music minor, and later obtained a law degree from the University of Texas, Austin. Now a co-founder and chief legal officer of Komply, Inc., she commutes every two weeks between San Francisco and Austin, Texas. She also serves on the San Francisco Bar Association’s Justice & Diversity Center Leadership board.
“As an attorney who previously worked for a credit card processor, ‘Orpheus’ identified me as a match to develop peer relationships with other attorneys and financial-tech community folks who might consider supporting the Opera,” she said.
Zachary, 32, is a Neptune, N.J., native with a master’s of public administration from New York University. After a stint as technology adviser to then-Newark, N.J., Mayor Cory Booker, he headed west, where he co-founded Standard Treasury in 2013, and sold it to Silicon Valley Bank in 2016. Currently in stealth mode as co-founder of Deciens Capital, he’s raising funds for a new financial tech project.
Following post-intermission Champagne, Zachary couldn’t recall Jessica’s full name. But he remembered the credit card company where she’d worked, found her the next day on Google and messaged Jessica for a date via LinkedIn.
“Meeting people under 40 genuinely interested in classical music is rare. But my attraction to Zac definitely came later,” admitted Jessica. “Two weeks after his LinkedIn message, we met for an Awesome Theatre production Zac co-produced. He suggested dinner before but I declined, steering our meet-up as a cultural night among peers.”
Awaiting the curtain’s rise, Jessica realized Zachary was acting flirty, assuming this second meeting was a real date. Jessica, who describes herself as, “aggressive-aggressive,” sheepishly recalls turning to Zac just before the lights went down and declaring: “This is not a date.”
Shot down, Townsend was stuck in a 40-seat theater for two long hours. For the next four months, he ignored her casual texts about further operatic conversations.
In February 2015, Jessica tried again, texting Zac to see if he’d attend the Opera’s annual Medallion Society lunch. And she roped Sandra Chien into her efforts, asking the Opera development officer to seat them together.
“Jessica made it clear she was now single, and we talked about our shared love of great food,” Zac said. “That’s when we decided to go on our first real date.”
Instead of meeting for coffee, in typical Millennial fashion, they met at Saison, the pricey three-star Michelin restaurant.
“Dinner was a gamble because a Saison meal is, like, four hours, so there’s no easy escape,” Zac said. “If you don’t like the person across the table, it’s a long night. But Jessica and I totally hit it off.”
After that dinner, they began counting dates. They’d email each other calendar invites, enumerating that, say, date No. 24 involved hiking, new restaurants or performing arts events. Five months later, Jessica moved in with Townsend at his Mission Dolores apartment, where they still live.
During a trip to New York the following May, Zac surprised Jessica at a favorite restaurant with a marriage proposal and ring, enthusing: “Jessica, you’ve brought music to my life.”
Their wedding followed on May 27, 2017 — a year and 14 days later, the time required to negotiate their onstage nuptials at the Opera House — during the season’s only weekend rehearsal.
“We met at a dress rehearsal, so we wanted our wedding guests to experience that dynamic,” Zac explained. “But the opera crew is union, so there were numerous negotiations timing our onstage marriage during the union’s 30-minute break.”
One hundred guests sat in the Opera house orchestra seats as Zac’s college friend and officiant for the day, Marine Capt. Jonathan Margolick, married the couple. Post-ceremony, the party repaired to a Champagne-and-cheese reception in the Intermezzo Lounge, where the couple first met.
Keeping to the union’s clock, everyone shifted to the Opera’s box seats to savor the “Rigoletto” dress rehearsal. Finally, the wedding party crossed Grove Street to Davies Symphony Hall, where a lounge-style buffet supper was served in the Wattis Room. Zac joked their nuptials are possibly the only, and last, such nonoperatic ceremony onstage.
“The wedding was secondary to a decision we’d made a year before about how we wanted to live our lives,” Jessica said. “The question was, ‘Are we in this together?’ Our answer is, we chose to never leave one another.”
Many wedding elements reflected their passion for San Francisco culinary arts. Guests cooked the rehearsal dinner at San Francisco Cooking School, where the couple took 16 weeks of classes. Straw SF-Proposition Chicken restaurateur Ari Feingold served pigs-in-a-blanket and chicken and waffles in the Wattis Room. Tartine wedding cakes were served with Bi-Rite ice cream.
“It was fun to juxtapose the grandeur of the opera with Ari’s carnivaltheme menu,” Zac said.
In June, the newlyweds spent a week traveling in Denmark and Norway. Then, it was back to work — and summer-season opera.
“We live modest lives. But our Opera meeting and Saison dinner exposed a broader theme in our relationship. We’re not into physical trappings but we love experiences: Classical music, travel or, being in San Francisco, enjoying food as an art form,” Jessica said. “That’s when we understood how much we have in common.”