On outrageous hair, pitch clocks and ...

Nobody asked me, but ...

Not everything was better in the old days, but this was: You were not a feared hitter unless you strode to the plate swinging three bats, then discarded two.

Judging by a recent Hunter Pence tweet photo, we already have the 2018 winner for baseball’s most outrageous hair — face and head. Pence looks like the love child of Rasputin and the Nick Nolte mugshot.

If the NBA All-Star Game is no longer East against West, what the teams? I vote for Team Shimmy against ’Bron’s Bombers.

The charmed life of Jimmy G. He’ll probably watch the Super Bowl from a golf course in L.A., checking his phone to see if the Patriots have wired him his playoff share.

MLB players rejected a 20-second pitch clock. OK. How about a big loudspeaker next to the mound. After 20 seconds: “THROW THE DAMN BALL, MEAT!”

Bill Belichick’s post-game-interview look: the dude at your gym waiting impatiently for you to get your wimpy ass off the bench-press machine.

That Hoodie death-glower, by the way, might be why the Patriots don’t commit many infractions.

Colin Kaepernick and Snoop Dogg — there’s an alliance to warm the hearts of Kap-haters.

I’m enlisting in Amy Trask’s crusadewar on cliches. I just want to do whatever I can to help the team win.

Man, it’s really too bad that three leaders of USA Gymnastics resigned. They should have been fired long ago. Hope they stick their landing ... in jail.

Roger Goodell should have fined Mark Davis for violating the Rooney Rule. There’s a lot of gray area, but the commissioner needed to show the league, and the world, that he takes the rule seriously.

Speed up the game? Shoot relievers out of a bullpen cannon.