Let’s do it, let’s fall in love
Once again, with Valentine’s Day approaching, it’s time to spill the spoken beans about romance. All year, every year, a good percentage of conversation is about romance: Looking for it, reveling in it, analyzing it, ending it and building it into a lifetime commitment.
And all year, I collect quotes. So today is the first day of the annual three-day story of love, as told in quotes overheard by listeners all around us.
FREE-RANGE HOPING
“When I said I was hungry, I meant sexually.” (Young man to young man, overheard in Golden Gate Park by Steve Finacom)
“Fall in love? I can’t even fall asleep.” (Man overheard on the Muni T-line by Joe Mac)
“What you need is a wife ... a mother ... a housekeeper ... and a mistress. Without them, you are ...” (Woman talking on her cell phone, overheard walking on the Lands End trail by a passerby who couldn’t hear the end, Bruce Powell)
“If I was going to buy a woman, that’s the one I’d buy.” (Man to man, overheard on Half Moon Bay walking trail by Susan Hopkins)
“I just want someone to share my space with, maybe watch a little TV. That’s about all I can ask.” (Young man at New Montgomery and Howard, overheard by John White)
“It’s called fishin’ for a reason. It’s not called catchin.’ ” (Woman to woman, overlooking singles partying scene at a Capitola bar, overheard by Steve Finacom)
“Just remember, you are who you hang out with.” (Young woman to young woman, overheard on ferry to Angel Island by Ann Lehman)
PROSPECTS REJECTED
“Unless they’re only interested in sex, women don’t respond very well to ‘Hey, Hot Stuff.’ ” (Man to woman, overheard at Mountain View 24-Hour Fitness by Bruce Berger)
“Anybody who talks about enlightenment you can reject right off the bat.” (Woman to woman talking about online dating, and overheard in coffee shop by Robert Hurwitt)
“Dude, when she told me she was a Master Way-shower, Ascension Guide and Gatekeeper, I told her I was way too busy.” (Man in line at Whole Foods Market, overheard by Tosha Silver)
“Yeah, it was the usual. A young guy, handsome, tattoos to die for and beautiful inquiring eyes, and the first thing he asked me was, ‘Do you want to hear about my new startup?’ ” (Young woman to young woman, overheard at Jane on Larkin Street by Terence Clarke)
“I can’t date him. He separates his M&M’s by color before eating them.” (Two women discussing romantic prospects, overheard at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art by Adda Dada)
“He was only 19. I told him, ‘I can’t date you if you can’t take me out for a drink.’ ” (Woman to friends, overheard in Half Moon Bay by Bill Shields)
”She’s tall. And judgy.” (Middle-aged man to middle-aged man, overheard in Santa Rosa by Greg Brennan)
Man 1: “It was more than I usually get on a first date.” Man 2: “Well, you did have to pay for it.” (Conversation overheard at Blarney Castle in Ireland by Bruce Wodhams)
She: “What are you studying in school?” He: “Civil engineering.” She: “Interesting. You dance like an engineer.” (Conversation overheard on a wedding dance floor by Bertie Brouhard)
“No, the other guy. The one who’s always reminding me of the difference between allegory and metaphor. Ugh.” (Woman to women, overheard at the bar during intermission at the San Francisco Ballet by Roger Thornhill)
SO MANY REASONS TO JUST SAY YES
“If you buy him fluffy socks, you’ll win his heart.” (Teenage girl to teenage girl, overheard near Macy’s by Adda Dada) “I’ve hung out with him like two times in the past 48 hours. It’s like the closest thing I’ve ever had to a boyfriend.” (Millennial woman on cell phone, overheard in the Castro by Jason Bennett) Man: “My girlfriend and I are actually polyamorous.” Friend: “Dude, can you even spell that, let alone be it?” (Conversation in line at Peet’s in Alameda, overheard by Tosha Silver) “I know you’re really smart and you think about these things, but I think you should think less.” (Young woman to intense-looking young man, overheard on the 38-Geary by Laura Jacoby)
Tomorrow: The plot thickens. It always thickens.