San Francisco Chronicle

Former Plain Jane now obsessed with her looks

- By Jeanne Phillips Write to Dear Abby at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 or www.dearabby.com.

Dear Abby: When I was in my teens, and even into my 20s and 30s, I was a Plain Jane. I had little self-confidence. But I have gotten better looking as I’ve aged. Now in my 50s, I am better looking than many women my age or even younger. Men definitely notice me, and I love it. My problem is, I’m now obsessed with my appearance. I have even considered cosmetic surgery. I don’t want to be the shallow person I see I’m becoming. What can I do? Late Bloomer Dear Late Bloomer: It isn’t shallow to have the feelings you are experienci­ng. But please remember that beauty is more than what’s on the surface. Perhaps it’s time to start concentrat­ing on qualities that accentuate your inner rather than external beauty, because charm lasts longer than beauty. Cosmetic surgery can do wonders for a person’s sagging ego. But your appearance should not be the focus of your life because, frankly, it isn’t healthy. Dear Abby: I am writing in response to the letter from “Military Service Marker.” When my uncle, a military veteran, passed away, he was without a military service marker, too. His two kids (my cousins) didn’t bother to obtain one, probably out of sheer laziness. Feeling that it was important, I contacted the VA. I obtained the record of his honorable discharge and his death certificat­e, filled out the appropriat­e paperwork and my uncle got the marker to which he was entitled. It was delivered directly to the cemetery, and the only cost was the installati­on. I felt proud about having done something for a deserving vet!

Bill B. in Missouri Dear Bill: My thanks to you and to the scores of other readers who wrote to share this informatio­n. It is important to know that relatives of deceased military veterans can receive these military markers at no cost. Contact the cemetery, the VA at www.cem. va.gov/hmm, or a VFW or American Legion post for assistance. Dear Abby: I need advice on whether to contact an old friend who backstabbe­d me years ago with my former business partner. I’m trying to get back into the field, and he has a lot of contacts that could help me. I’m not sure if I should contact him because of what he did to me.

Uncertain in California Dear Uncertain: Frankly, I think it would be a waste of time. Leopards don’t usually change their spots. If you expect someone who backstabbe­d you once in business to become generous and helpful, you are dreaming. Find a way to network that he can’t “taint,” because if he can, he will.

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