Parents blame drinking episode on teen’s friends

Dear Abby: My 15-year-old daughter, “Jenny,” went to a sleepover with her best friends, “Penny” and “Ginger.” Penny’s parents went out and left the girls alone. They drank some beer. Jenny and Ginger were sober, but Penny also drank hard liquor and got very drunk. I found out about it after Penny texted my daughter and Ginger to tell them how upset and disappointed her parents were and that they were demanding letters of apology from all three girls. I thought it was over the top, but realized Jenny was in the wrong. That same day Jenny wrote them an email with a heartfelt apology for disrespecting everyone by drinking in their house, for drinking their beer without permission and for allowing their daughter to get drunk (not being a true friend and trying harder to stop her). Now, the fifth day after the email was confirmed received, my daughter is disappointed that it was never acknowledged. Penny’s parents have been known to be dramatic in past dealings with other students and parents. Will you advise me on what I should do? I feel I should let it go and let Jenny figure out how she should choose her friends. She has ditched a friend who wasn’t a good influence on her without us forcing her to.

Jenny’s Mom in Canada Dear Mom: Penny’s parents shouldn’t have left three teens alone with liquor. They were wrong to expect Jenny and Ginger to prevent their daughter from misbehaving. Asking for a written apology was not over the top. I don’t think your daughter’s letter needed acknowledgment. Let it go, with a lecture about drinking and the consequences if it happens again. Dear Abby: A couple of years ago, I ran into “John,” an old friend who was going through a divorce. We began a wonderful relationship, although he was having a hard time emotionally. I was John’s confidante and best friend. About six months after the divorce was final, his ex-wife decided she wanted him back, and they reconciled. John and I still talk. Since then they have broken up three or four times. I want him back, but only if she’s out of the picture. She’s a master manipulator and uses their kids to control him. How can I get John to see that if he stands his ground, she will go away?

Staying With It in Ohio Dear Staying: If you think John’s wife (ex?) will ever be out of the picture, you are mistaken. She will be there in some capacity because of the children. If you can’t accept that, you should end the relationship before you waste any more time.