Pauline L. Mar

Resident of Oakland, California

Pauline L Mar. Wife, mother, grandmother, best friend, and ballroom dancer extraordinaire, passed away March 15, 2018 after a brain bleed accident on a cruise in November 2017.

Pauline L. Mar passed away peacefully in her sleep on March 15, 2018, at Bethany Care Home in Oakland. She had had a good day, receiving a visit from her younger sister Pao Chung and niece Kate from Orange County, playing ball with Kate, and enjoying future daughter-in-law Amy’s congee. Her daily companions were her daughter Pamela Nelson and son Sidney Mar of Oakland, CA. She also leaves behind a grandson, Dr. Ronald Nelson, Jr., of El Paso, TX, younger brother Pao Yu Lee (Shirley) of Fountain Valley, CA, younger sister Pao Chung Chu of Irvine, CA, and younger brother Pao Chi Lee (Toni) of New York City, NY. She is predeceased by her husband, Howard Q. Mar of Oakland, CA, and younger brother Pao Kwun Lee of Shanghai, China.

Pauline was born in Kwangju, China, and grew up in Shanghai, China, where she was a middling student, standout track athlete, and enthusiastic dancer. She met and married her beloved husband, Howard Q. Mar, in Shanghai on April 24, 1947. They lived in Shanghai for two years until the Communists took over China. They moved back to Howard’s native California, first living temporarily with Howard’s family in Fresno and then moving to San Francisco, where daughter Pam was born. Pursuing an attractive position as Head of the Design Division, Ship Repair Facility, the young family moved to Subic Bay Naval Base, Philippines, in 1953, and son Sidney was born there. The family lived in Subic Bay for 14 years until Howard retired from the Civil Service, and Pam started at the University of California, Berkeley, in 1967. The family has lived in the same apartment in Oakland until the present day, despite Pam’s moving away to get married in 1971 and Howard’s unexpected passing in 1979.

While Sidney worked as a banking regulator and then banker, Pauline kept house, played mah jong and duplicate bridge, and helped raise her grandson, Ron, Jr. When a ballroom dance studio opened on the next block, Pauline convinced Sidney to take private dancing lessons, and Sidney prevailed on Pauline to take private lessons as well. This started a long and enjoyable series of international travel, cruising, and ballroom dancing for both of them.

Unfortunately, Pauline fell on the back of her head in the bathtub of their latest cruise ship in November 2017 and suffered bleeding in the brain. She was never the same as she went from the ICU of a Saigon-based hospital to Kaiser Hospital in Oakland, to Hayward Convalescent Hospital, and finally to Bethany Care Home in Oakland, where she passed away. Pauline’s family expresses gratitude to Kaiser Hospice Care and Bethany Care Home for taking good care of her.

There will be a visitation for Pauline from 5:30 to 7:30 PM, Thursday, March 22, at Chapel of the Chimes, 4499 Piedmont Avenue, Oakland. Family and friends are invited to join us for a celebration of Pauline’s life, wear colorful clothes (no black or gray, please), and share their memories of her. Afterwards, we’ll have refreshments.

In lieu of flowers, please make a donation in Pauline’s name to the American Diabetes Association or the charity of your choice.