When the bad guys come to town
It’s always kind of fun to watch the good guys/bad guys go at it. And we’ve got a ripsnorter going at it right here on the streets and sidewalks of San Francisco.
The good guys are represented by none other than Ford Motor Co., which remarkably wants you to get out of your car and rent one of their Ford GoBikes. They have responsibly contracted with the city and placed “docks” in many neighborhoods, especially the downtown area, where customers can grab a bike (for a fee) and return it to the same or another dock at their leisure. Everybody wins.
Then, last month, whooping and hollering, the bad guys rode into town. It might be hard to picture a bad guy on an electric scooter, but give it a try. Suddenly, without warning, the streets and sidewalks of San Francisco are the home of renegade scooter rental companies making people reminisce about the Wild, Wild West.
There are no laws to regulate these rental scooters. Three companies, Bird, LimeBike and Spin, swooped in to take advantage of our lawless city. Politicians and the Municipal Transportation Agency are scrambling to come up with some regulations, but in the meantime it’s a free-for-all.
In my role as intrepid reporter, I decided to find out firsthand what the fuss is all about. My office in San Francisco happens to be right in the middle of this new wild scooter country, and there’s nothing more exciting than joining up with a bunch of outlaws.
“I’m going to find myself a renegade scooter,” I said to my office manager one day last week. “Wish me luck.”
She reacted much as my wife would. “You’re too old to be on a scooter,” she replied. “You’ll look like an idiot.”
It’s true that these scooters, which you stand on like a skateboard, are not particularly designed for 63-year-olds, but intrepid reporters don’t worry about things like that. I just grabbed a baseball hat, put it on backward and headed out the door.
I hadn’t walked more than 20 steps before I ran smack into a Bird scooter parked on the sidewalk, directly in my path. It beckoned me to take it for a ride, or at least move it out of the way.
I downloaded the Bird app on my iPhone, which took 20 seconds, entered my credit card information, and then read the simple instructions, one of which stated that San Francisco requires scooter riders to wear helmets.
“Huzzah!” I cried, even though no one could hear. “San Francisco does have laws regulating scooters!”
Like the thousands of other riders who have rented these scooters, I completely ignored the law. A helmet store was nowhere to be found, and besides, I was already feeling like an outlaw. I was going rogue.
Since I hadn’t ridden a scooter for about 50 years, I was a little wary. It wouldn’t look good for a big, bad outlaw to topple over, especially without a helmet. But riding was surprisingly easy, and within moments I was cruising along at the maximum speed of 15 miles per hour.
Despite being a big, bad outlaw, I stayed off the sidewalks because it’s also illegal to ride on them. I stopped at signals and didn’t go the wrong way on one-way streets. I meandered around for 39 minutes and 3.5 miles, dodging cars and buses, and ended up in the Financial District. The cost was $6.85.
I responsibly parked the scooter on the sidewalk, out of the path of pedestrian traffic. It had been fun, and I had survived, but now I had to get back to my office near Fisherman’s Wharf. I could have taken the scooter, but I had seen a Jump electric bike chained to a lamppost, and I wanted to complete my bad guy experience.
Owned by Uber, Jump actually has a nine-month trial permit from the city, but complaints are pouring in because its bikes are also dumped erratically on city sidewalks, causing consternation among many pedestrians.
Using my Uber app, I unlocked the bike. Two and a half miles, 22 minutes and $2.17 later, I was back at my office, where I chained it up for the next bad guy to ride.
“You survived,” said my office manager. “What did you think?”
“Given the choice, I’d rather walk and get some exercise,” I replied. “But if I ever had to get somewhere fast and avoid the traffic gridlock, I’d rent the scooter or electric bike again.”
In other words, I’m pretty sure the bad guys are here to stay. Now all the city has to do is regulate them and turn them into good guys.
Like the thousands of other riders who have rented these scooters, I ignored the law. A helmet store was nowhere to be found, and besides, I was already feeling like an outlaw. I was going rogue.