A team goal of preventing domestic violence
In a bigger-than-sports moment Friday night, the Cal women’s lacrosse team will use the backdrop of its regular-season finale against Stanford to raise awareness about relationship violence.
The teams will wear matching warm-up shirts before the 7 p.m. game at Memorial Stadium with a #LoveBetter message — a nod to the One Love Foundation created in 2010 to honor Virginia lacrosse player Yeardley Love, who was killed by her boyfriend.
“There are support systems for when a tragedy happens, but it’s more important to educate and make decisions that alleviate these things from happening,” head coach Brooke Eubanks said. “It’s not just about helping the survivors. It’s about helping to prevent the actions.”
The Bears have nine players from “D.M.V.” (Washington, D.C., Maryland and Virginia), a tight-knit lacrosse community that rallied together as the grizzly details of Love’s murder unfolded in the media eight years ago next month.
Cal senior and Maryland native Meredith Haggerty remembers those days and spotted a way to start making a direct impact in 2016. The One Love Foundation came to Berkeley for an Escalation Workshop, teaching Cal’s 850 student-athletes about the signs of relationships becoming unhealthy or abusive.
The workshop, which includes an intentionally disturbing 45-minute video and the ensuing discussions, prompted Haggerty to become a moderator at future workshops. She’ll also have the middleschool club she helps coach attend Friday’s game.
“There are a lot of warnings signs and red flags for unhealthy or violent relationships,” Haggerty said. “The video aims to educate everyone about warning signs and how to be an active bystander. … It is very emotional, but unfortunately, a lot of times, that is the truth of the situation.
“It’s hard to watch, but it’s the truth and it happens way too often.”
It’s estimated that 220,000 students have attended an Escalation Workshop, including about 15,000 in the Bay Area this year. Freshman midfielder Ashley Ward went through the program with her club lacrosse team and was so struck by its message that she helped bring it to her high school, California San Ramon.
“I don’t know if we necessarily get taught at a young age what a healthy relationship is,” Ward said. “This is something that brings awareness to it and gets young girls and boys thinking about what’s OK.”
Ward and sophomore Kirsten Swanson are Cal’s student ambassadors for One Love. They were instrumental in coordinating with Stanford in the planning of Friday’s game, and they’ve met with other schools’ leaders to collaborate and plan events that reach beyond the athletic community
Love’s murder “was incredibly shocking for the whole community,” said Swanson, who is from Washington, D.C. “... It’s really empowering to know that we’re trying to make a difference in something on top of our sport.
“In the best ways possible, we’re trying to spread this message.”
“I don’t know if we necessarily get taught at a young age what a healthy relationship is. This is something that ... gets young girls and boys thinking about what’s OK.” Ashley Ward, Cal freshman