San Francisco Chronicle

Teen expected to referee her parents’ arguments

- By Jeanne Phillips Thoughts? Wants to Be a Nurse Write to Dear Abby at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 or www.dearabby.com. Universal Press Syndicate

Dear Abby: I’m 16 and my parents are getting a divorce. It is really hard. They put me in the middle a lot in their arguments, like I’m a counselor. I have told them repeatedly I don’t like it, and they promise it won’t happen again, but it does. They both tell me their sides of the story, but they never bother to listen to my feelings.

It’s like I have to be the adult/ parent, while all I want is for them to hear me.

How do I bring this up?

Girl in the Middle

Dear Girl: Your parents have placed you in a no-win position. What they are doing to you is extremely unfair. If you have a trusted aunt, uncle or grandparen­ts you can confide in, enlist their help in delivering the message to your parents that their behavior is destructiv­e. While your parents may be able to tune you out when you ask not to be involved in their marital problems, they may be less likely to ignore the message if they hear it from another adult. If you don’t have a relative you can confide in, then enlist a counselor at school.

Dear Abby: Over the past six years — from the ages of 18 to 24 — I have worked three jobs. Each lasted two years. (They were baking at a local bakery, serving at a restaurant and being a file clerk.) Now that I have my nursing degree, should I mention my previous employment on my resume when applying for a nursing position? I don’t want it to look like I can’t make up my mind when it comes to employment, but I also don’t want it to appear like I have never worked.

Dear Wants to Be a Nurse: If you list your dates of prior employment — as well as the date you received your nursing degree — it should be apparent that you were working toward your nursing degree all along. Before you are hired, you will be personally interviewe­d, which will give you the opportunit­y to not only explain what you have to offer, but also point out that your resume reflects that you’re a hard worker. That’s important informatio­n, and you should use all of your “ammunition” to land the job. Dear Abby: I live in a big city and go to restaurant­s. The noise level is often so loud it makes conversati­on extremely difficult. I have to shout to make myself heard across the table. Can you explain why the noise level in these trendy, and often expensive, restaurant­s is so high?

Down With Decibels

Dear D.W.D.: Alas, I can. The din is no accident. When diners in a restaurant can easily converse, they tend to LINGER. The restaurant makes more money if it can turn the tables, so it is designed with high ceilings, no carpets, loud music, and nothing to buffer the sound. Got it?

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