Ballpark names from worst to 1st
On the Giants’ last trip, they played at ballparks with three of the best and unadulterated names, all three simply named after the home team.
Nationals Park, Marlins Park, Dodger Stadium.
That’s as pure as it gets in this highest-bidder-wins-namingrights-no-matter-how-bad-itsounds civilization.
The worst ballpark name houses the White Sox: Guaranteed Rate Field, the only guarantee being no clear-thinking soul uses the name unless he/she is paid to do so.
Let’s rank ballpark names worst to first, continuing with Citizens Bank Field (29), Citi Field (28) — the Mets lost at least 20 spots when moving on from Shea Stadium — Comerica Park (27), Chase Field (26), SunTrust Park (25), Progressive Field (24), Safeco Field (23) and Globe Life Park in Arlington (as if we need to be reminded of the locale, 22), all named after banks and insurance companies.
Next, the acronyms, AT&T Park (21) and PNC Park (also a bank, 20), the prettiest parks with not-so-pretty names. The Pirates are ahead of the Giants because they’re ampersand-less.
O.J. goes with breakfast, not ballparks. Minute Maid Park (19) and Tropicana Field (18)? Please. A bit worse than Target Field (17) and Petco Park (16).
Great American Ball Park (15) isn’t bunched with the other banks if only because it breaks “ballpark” into two words, as if it’s the 1800s.
Arrange Miller Park (14), Coors Field (13) and Busch Stadium (12) based on your tastes, though a true beer connoisseur would say none of the above. Why couldn’t Anchor Steam buy the naming rights in San Francisco? Kauffman Stadium (11) is named after the late owner, and Rogers Centre (10) gets bonus points because it’s not Rogers Center.
Wrigley Field (9) and Fenway Park (8) are classics, corporate affiliation or no corporate affiliation. Angel Stadium of Anaheim (7) and Oriole Park at Camden Yards (6) are good even if someone tried to be a bit too cute.
The top five: Marlins Park (5), Nationals Park (4), Dodger Stadium (3), Yankee Stadium (2), and No. 1 is the purest of all, not attached to a corporation or even the home team.
The Coliseum. Or, to out-oftowners, the Oakland Coliseum. As pure as it gets. Now, if the A’s ever go back to naming it after a faceless dot-com outfit, the White Sox would have competition.