‘Horsepucky’ disappears on diamond

Alarm bells sounded for baseball linguists when Angels manager Mike Scioscia referred to a report that he will retire after this season as “poppycock.”

Scholars wondered why Scioscia ignored the more obvious and appropriate baseball word: “horses—” (hereafter referred to as horsepucky).

Many baseball purists fear that horsepucky, baseball’s most colorful and useful word, is becoming obsolete. I checked with Chronicle baseball scribes Susan Slusser, Henry Schulman and John Shea. All report that they don’t hear the word much anymore.

Shea fondly recalled the insightful words of Larry Bowa, then manager of the Padres, after he got thrown out of a game at Candlestick Park, making him 0-3 as a rookie manager. “I’m horsepucky. The coaches are horsepucky. The players are horsepucky. We’re all f— horsepucky.”

It is the Swiss Army Knife of baseball words, as versatile as “aloha.” It can mean “nonsense, bunk.“It can mean “of poor quality, terrible.”

Unlike its cousin bullpucky, horsepucky is exclusive to baseball. It is as evocative of baseball as “apple pie” is of America.

A conversation like this could take place only in baseball:

Player 1: I feel horsepucky today. But at least I have this great new shirt.

Player 2: That shirt is horsepucky.

Player 1: Yeah? Your eyesight is horsepucky.

Player 2: I can see your horsepucky shirt.

The word dates back to baseball’s rural and pastoral roots. Pitchers warm up in the bullpen, young players prep on farm teams. At the dawn of baseball, a pile of horsepucky probably served as second base.

The decline of horsepucky might be be tied to the decreasing use of chewing tobacco. By tradition, uttering of “horsepucky” often is accompanied by an emphatic spit of tobacco juice. The word just doesn’t carry the same oomph when punctuated by a “p-tooie!” of sunflower seeds or bubblegum juice. It’s like wine pairing.

Maybe baseball should launch a horsepucky-awareness campaign. Probably not down to the Little League level, but at least into high school ball.

I understand that words and expressions come and go. Nobody says “gadzooks” anymore. But it will be a sad day when baseball says aloha to horsepucky.