He ‘flirted’ online; sister of fiancee suspects more
Dear Abby: My youngest sister started dating a man and they quickly moved in together. Six months into their relationship she got pregnant, and their wedding is planned for this summer.
Recently she discovered he has been video-chatting with someone he met online. He admitted to flirting, apologized and promised that was the end of it. I have a strong suspicion that there have been other “situations” my sister is unaware of. Should I express my concerns to her and suggest postponing the wedding? Or keep my gut feelings to myself ? I’m afraid she will get married and then find out what’s really going on. Big Sister in Massachusetts Dear Big Sister: Be honest with your sister. Although I suspect that your gut feelings are accurate, whether she will believe it is debatable, but at least she will have been warned. If she does decide to stay with him, refrain from any “I told you so’s.” Recognize that whether she marries her fiance or not, she will forever be linked to him through the baby. Dear Abby: After my mom passed away, my dad lived alone for three years until his death. Mom’s family not once made contact with him or me. Dad lived in a very small town. When he would see Mom’s sister and her husband in restaurants and stores, they would ignore him.
After Dad’s death, my aunt asked if she could have a rocking chair that belonged to my mother. I agreed. To my shock, when my uncle arrived to pick up the chair, he wanted to look through Dad’s tools and such. After making no attempt to contact Dad while he was alive, my uncle had the nerve to ask to look through Dad’s things. I politely shut him down. Since then, my aunt has been bad-mouthing me all over town, telling everyone “I dropped them.” What should I say to set the record straight without appearing as the bad guy?
“Orphan” in the South Dear Orphan: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your parents, and this uncomfortable situation. Memorize the first paragraph of your letter to me and recite it verbatim when the subject of your relationship with your aunt and uncle comes up. The message will spread quickly, and you won’t have to repeat it often. Dear Abby: My husband and I want to go to Europe this summer, but we don’t want to take his mother along. We have taken her on two holidays and didn’t enjoy either one for various reasons. She now expects to go with us on our international vacations, and we don’t know how to tell her we prefer to go alone. Please help.
Holiday for Two Dear Holiday: What your husband should say to his mother is, “Mom, my wife and I will be going to ___ for a few weeks in August. We need an ‘adventure’ alone together, so we will not be asking you to join us.” Period!