On Zoom, nobody can see you dance

After five weeks of sheltering in place, I started to feel disconnected from my body. Given the more limited areas we are all allowed to move through during the pandemic and how much less we are moving, it wasn’t surprising. I needed to make an adjustment to get the physical-mental connection established again — and the quickest way to engage with my body has always been in a dance class.

Here’s the funny thing about that: I’m not a dancer. I discovered early that learning choreography more advanced than the “Y.M.C.A.” dance was not my strong suit. In attending eight years of art schools, however, dance classes were a mandatory part of my life and have continued to be an outlet. Whether jazz, ballet, modern or contact improvisation, I am the slowest, least coordinated student, but I’m enthusiastic. In my best moments, I make like an inspirational poster and “dance like nobody’s watching.”

When I saw the remote dance classes many Bay Area schools are pivoting to with studios closed, I got excited to dance like no one was watching because I would be in the privacy of my apartment.

There are many athome dance class options. Some classes are livestreamed on Zoom to allow you to work out in real time and ask questions. Others can be found as prerecorded videos on YouTube or Instagram, allowing you to dance when it’s convenient and at your own pace. I looked to local companies Smuin Ballet, San Francisco Ballet and ODC for my classes, set up my laptop, threw on my tights and rolled up my leg warmers: a5,6,7,8!

I started with a beginning hiphop session on Zoom with Smuin Ballet, taught by Emmywinning dancer and documentarian Ben NeedhamWood. It was sometime during the fullarm plank hip dips that I reconnected with my body. That’s a polite way of saying it hurt — not injured hurt, but wake-up-musclesyou-don’t-use-bingeing-TV hurt.

For weeks I had been following the live streams of company classes that San

Francisco Ballet does on Facebook. Thankfully, they archive the streams as videos, and I decided to follow one of Tina LeBlanc’s classes in my bedroom, using the ledge of a dresser as a ballet barre. I felt a sense of relatability when I noticed that some of the familiar company members on the video also had makeshift ballet barres ranging from countertops to the backs of chairs. After a half hour of plies and barre work I thought I looked pretty good in the bedroom mirror and let myself get carried away: “I am Baryshnikov, I am Nureyev, I am ‘Black Swan!’ ” (I was pulled out of my fantasy when I saw a neighbor observing me from the window of the apartment across from mine. It turns out, I was dancing while at least one person was watching.)

I finished the week with ODC’s “Essentrics” on Zoom taught by Marika Brussel. The class is a combination of tai chi, ballet technique and physiotherapy-informed movements. For this one, I turned on my laptop camera, feeling far more in touch with my muscles and limbs than I did a few days before. After the two other classes, following the teacher on Zoom didn’t feel as awkward. That’s not to say Zoom made me a better dancer, but at least I was less selfconscious. Stretching, extending and moving together with the class felt like something I hadn’t experienced in weeks. It felt surprisingly normal.

Of note, I had to rearrange my living room because my apartment is not decorated with choreography in mind. Even still, I had to move in a tighter, more confined space and remain sensitive about not stepping too hard out of consideration for neighbors. Also, the field of vision is different when paying attention to a laptop screen rather than watching a teacher a few feet away from you. In a regular class, there’s often a sense of community as you learn together; in the Zoom class, I felt a kinship with everyone trying to make the experience work in their circumstances.

At the beginning of the shelter order, I suggested readers use art to maintain their wellbeing during this time. Part of that practice for me will now be weekly dance classes. I encourage you to find something creative that’s also physical as part of your selfcare. If you want to dance, you don’t even have to take a class: Put on a music video or a movie musical and see how well you can follow Madonna or Gene Kelly. Let go of whatever inhibitions sheltering has given you. If you can’t dance like nobody is watching now, when can you?