Pandemic excuse used when it suits relatives

Dear Miss Manners: My husband and I are in our mid-30s. My husband has a twin sister who is married with two children. We haven’t seen them in some time due to the pandemic, but they called and asked us to help them redo their bathroom. They said they were no longer worried about the pandemic, as we live in a very remote area and all self-quarantine.

They then gave us a list of gifts that their children would like for Christmas. When we asked about their plans for Christmas, they said that they probably would not feel comfortable getting together due to the pandemic. They said we could drop off the gifts Christmas morning and wave.

Now we are feeling a bit used, as we are going to spend eightplus hours doing their bathroom in close contact. I want to keep the gifts here until they want to see us, but my husband thinks we should just send the gifts. What are your thoughts?

Gentle Reader: That you and your husband should not feel comfortable renovating his sister’s bathroom because of the pandemic. Or, for that matter, doing the shopping for people who do not care to see you socially.

No, wait. This is your husband’s twin, and it’s the Christmas season. Miss Manners should be a bit more charitable.

She suggests you wish them a merry Christmas and say you will postpone the present exchanges until they feel safe. Whether you will feel bound to use the gift list — or fix the bathroom — depends on just how charitable you can manage to feel.

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