Families separated from Aging Parents
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For his fellow septuagenarians and those older, Shaffer emphasized the need to do some form of exercise.
“They need to do something, even walking,” he said. “Lifting helps maintain muscle mass.”
It also helps to have a partner.
Shaffer surrounds himself with other active people. He has a friend he works out with and his wife of 34 years Jo Shaffer is an avid tennis player. His mother, who is now 95, was a professional Flamenco dancer in Spain.
Eating healthy plays an important role, too, he says and added he’s never used any drugs, recreational or steroids of any kind, and never smoked.
“Diet is important in keeping healthy and feeling good about living,” he said. There is one temptation -chocolate.
“I gave up chocolate for Lent,” he said.
What keeps him going every day is his faith, volunteer work and thinking about what to do next on the property.
“This is keeping me young, if it doesn’t kill me,” he joked.
Many families find themselves separated from their aging parents during the pandemic and have growing concerns about the safety and well-being of elder loved ones who are increasingly isolated. This stress can be overwhelming to adult children. Consider the following examples.
Katherine is working remotely from home and supporting two adolescent children with their online schooling while her spouse works fulltime in a medical setting. She receives four or five calls a day from her mother repeating the same stories and questions.
Robert lives in a Midwestern state and panics when he receives a call from his mother reporting that his father has fallen and was transported to the hospital where it was determined that he fractured his ankle. The father will remain hospitalized for several days then need more support than his wife can provide as he recovers. Rose, a senior herself, calls a local agency looking for help for her friend Lenore who is increasingly short of breath, has trouble managing her medications, and is afraid to make a visit to her doctor’s office during the pandemic. How do busy families or elders living alone manage such situations with confidence? Professional Geriatric Care Management may be just the solution. Geriatric care managers (GCMs) are typically nurses or social workers with extensive knowledge of aging issues and the costs, quality, and availability of local services. A GCM begins with a comprehensive assessment to determine the needs, abilities, and personal preferences of the elder adult and proposes a plan of care to assist that person to a remain safely and as independently as possible at home. Based on the care plan, the GCM will arrange and monitor services in the home, review medical conditions and coordinate health care, and recommend that financial and legal documents be updated if necessary. A GCM may also provide crisis management, support families at a distance, and assist with hospital to home transitions or moves to other care settings. GCMs are often most appreciated for their abilities to advocate for elders in the health care maze. A GCM is able to efficiently mix and match specific services for each person based on the assessment, client preferences and financial resources, thus lifting a tremendous load from families.
Let’s see how care management helped the families mentioned at the beginning of this article.
A local GCM was referred to Katherine who arranged for a dementia assessment of her mother which revealed early stages of cognitive decline. The GCM coordinated with the health care team to arrange medications to reduce anxiety and slow the progression of dementia. Katherine was counseled to work with an elder law attorney to review and update powers of attorney. Home care services were scheduled to provide support with daily tasks and safety monitoring. Katherine was referred to the Alzheimer’s Association where she was able to find an on-line support group. The GCM will continue to monitor the situation and recommend adjustments as mom’s needs change.
Robert found a GCM in his parents’ community who was able to contact his mother right away and arrange for an in-home assessment for general safety and the short-term needs of her husband. The GCM coordinated transport home of Robert’s father making sure that adaptive equipment was in place beforehand. Temporary home care services were arranged to help for a couple of hours each morning and evening, offering practical assistance and respite to Robert’s mother while his father recovered.
Lenore has no relatives available to support her and welcomed the introduction to a GCM who first arranged a tele-medicine visit with Lenore’s primary care physician. She then accompanied Lenore to an in-person visit. The GCM was able to explain and reinforce recommendations resulting from that visit and offered to set up Lenore’s medications in pill caddies to make compliance easier.
Lenore agreed to a regular schedule of home visits by the GCM to monitor her condition and help her maintain respiratory and general health.
If you are concerned about an aging relative or friend, or even yourself, and want to explore the services of a geriatric care manager anywhere in the country, you can find listing of certified individuals at https://www.aginglifecare.org/.