Elaborate birthday bash disappoints host
DEAR READER >> Every year during this time I step away from my column to work on other creative projects. I hope you enjoy these (edited) “Best Of” Q&As from 10 years ago.
Today’s topic is: Birthday bashes.
DEAR AMY >> We just celebrated my daughter’s first birthday with a wonderful party at a catering hall. We had live entertainment, food, an open bar for the adults, flowers, balloons, favors, you name it!
I spent months planning for this party to make it a perfect event. This is my third child, and every party has been a big event like this one.
My problem is rude guests. I had more than half of the party (20 families) respond several days past the RSVP date. They showed up one to two hours late with no apology, and some left early.
These guests took it upon themselves to sit wherever they wanted, even when I had place cards with assigned seating. As much as I love to throw parties for my children, in the end, I feel disappointed, insulted and used.
Should I stop having these parties, or should I continue doing what my children and I enjoy and ignore the rudeness?
— Frustrated Mother
ikAR mRUSTRATki >> It’s somewhat refreshing to learn that even in this tough economy there are still people who throw cotillions for 1-year-olds.
You need a reality check. You also need a reality show. If you had your own show, your guests’ rudeness — and your reaction — would be highlighted for the amusement of the rest of us.
Every time you hostoneofthese extravaganzas you emerge with the same frustrations, so you should do an objective postmortem to figure out what you could do differently in order to have a different result.
I suggest that you adjust your expectations somewhat regarding timely RSVPs, consider doing away with your seating chart, and adjust the length of your event. Your only other option is to get different guests.
(February 2011)
ikAR AMY >> Every December, my son gets invited to his friend “Brian’s” birthday party. We always get him a gift that we know he will like.
I recently said to his mother that he must get a lot of presents in December with his birthday and Christmas so close together. She told me, “Oh, I have him choose half of his birthday presents to give to Toys for Tots. He only gets to keep half.”
I feel that not only am I funding her charitable donations, but also her parenting.
— Scrooged
ikAR ScROOnki >> While it is possible that any gift you give any child could ultimately end up anywhere, this mother’s admission that they always give half of these gifts away was insensitive.
The way she has arranged her charitable gesture is disingenuous and not fair to the young guests.
(December 2011)