This relationship really needs a payday

DEAR AMY » I am involved with a recently divorced man.

“Steve” has two children (both adults).

I have four children — also grown and out of the home.

Steve’s marriage was over before I met him.

Steve and I operate a small but very successful business together.

Here’s the problem: Steve’s 19-year-old daughter works for us.

She gets paid for 40 hours a week, even though she only works about 25 hours, at most.

Steve makes sure her phone is paid for, has bought her a very expensive laptop, and has bought her a brand-new luxury model car. (She now expects a new one.)

We pay her health insurance.

She lives in her boyfriend’s house. Her boyfriend’s parents own the house, and her rent is way below market price.

If I bring up to Steve that I think we help her way too much, I’m the bad guy.

Am I wrong in not wanting to help her so much?

I also need to add that I do not get a paycheck, nor do I have any money unless I ask Steve for it.

All while his daughter constantly tells her father that she won’t do anything for him.

I am just now putting my foot down about being brought into all decisions being made.

I love him and want to stay, but am I just wasting my remaining happy years on nothing?

— Marred in Maine

DEAR MARRED » You criticize “Steve’s” daughter for being entirely dependent on her father, and yet you are, too.

The difference between you and this young woman is she is not working hard but is still receiving compensation; you are working hard — but are not getting paid.

You might ask her for tips on how to pry a paycheck out of her father.

Steve’s daughter comes first. If she is entitled and spoiled, then he helped to create this monster, and a monster she will remain — at least for the next few years.

Many small businesses rely on family members to provide hours of free labor, but according to you, the business you and Steve operate is successful. Your choice to work for free is a true headscratcher.

If one of your adult children described a situation where they were deeply ensconced in a personal and business relationship identical to yours, what advice would you give?

My point is that you should take a long and careful look at your own situation and ask yourself if you are with someone who is controlling the women in his life through money.

DEAR AMY » Thank you for sticking up for the teenager who brought his “lovey” to his grandmother’s house [“Embarrassed Gran”].

I am a married dad and I’ve had my stuffed panda in my room since, well, since forever.

I guess this goes against the grain, genderwise, but I’m cool with it, and my kids seem to feel the same way.