ANYWHERE BUT HERE?
Many teens can’t wait to leave their hometowns, but later find the connection is strong
“Ireally wanted to get out of here,” said University of New Mexico freshman Celia Rainey, recalling her desire growing up to leave her hometown, Santa Fe. “Moving out was definitely something I was looking forward to. I really just wanted to get a taste of some other city.”
When Rainey was old enough, she applied to out-of-state colleges. But because of personal reasons, she decided to attend The University of New Mexico in Albuquerque. Although Rainey said she might choose to live in other places in the future, she has been very happy with her choice — partly because she loves the community she has found at UNM and partly because being an hour away from her family made the adjustment to college life easier.
Although she is not desperate to leave New Mexico anymore, the urge to move is not uncommon. People across the United States often are portrayed as “rootless,” with a typical desire to one day get out of the small town they grew up in and make another life of their own elsewhere. According to a 2008 Health and Retirement Study by the University of Michigan’s Institute of Social Research, the average American lives just 18 miles from his or her mom. New Mexico is within a region of the country where that average distance is highest — 44 miles. And neither of those distances are even close to the average 1,418 miles that sit between 5 percent of Americans and their mothers.
A lot of teens yearn to go somewhere else and explore a new part of the world. And some come back home after trying that idea out.
Santa Fean Ronaldo Olivas has lived in Tempe, Ariz.; Albuquerque; San Miguel de Allende, Mexico; Split, Croatia; Prague, Czech Republic; and Lisbon, Portugal. But, “Santa Fe will always hold a very special place in my heart. It’s my home, regardless of where I am living or where I may end up,” he said. Olivas originally left Santa Fe to attend Arizona State University because, “I just wanted something new. Although I love New Mexico and had nothing against staying, I wanted to see what else was out there. I knew that if I left, even if it was just the next state over, it would get me out of my comfort zone and allow me to grow more as a person.
“I don’t know that I ever knew where exactly I would end up, but I knew that I wanted to see and experience more. There is just so much to see and learn by traveling and living in different places.”
So after going back to school at UNM to earn his master’s degree in business administration, he joined Remote Year — a digital platform that nomads can use to travel and work in remote places around the world for a year’s time, which brought him to Croatia, the Czech Republic and Portugal, with more places to come over the course of the next year.
Meghan Maher, executive director of Santa Fe Performing Arts and co-founder of Meow Wolf, also grew up in Santa Fe and similarly left New Mexico because, she said, “I wanted to see more of the world and try new things, expand my horizons and perspectives.”
When Maher was 21, she decided to move to California, then Hawaii, and then she traveled through New Zealand and Mexico before returning to Santa Fe.
“Growing up, I was actually very happy in Santa Fe and didn’t think of moving [or] settling long term anywhere else,” she said. “I really am a desert baby through and through. I do love traveling and getting new perspectives, but enjoy Santa Fe as my home base.”
Although Maher has always loved her hometown, she remembers that a lot of people had different attitudes toward the city. “A lot of the people I grew up with yearned for big-city life and expressed that they thought Santa Fe was ‘too small’ and that there weren’t enough opportunities (creative-career) here. I watched the majority of people I knew between ages 18-24 move away to explore and/or settle in other places.”
Rainey had a similar experience but believes it’s a universal school of thought. “I feel like no matter where you live or what age you are, there are periods where you’ll be bored [of your hometown],” she said. Rainey also thinks a big part of why many people want to leave home is linked to an idea she doesn’t necessarily agree with — that becoming an independent adult means going elsewhere: “I think that it comes with that desire for independence. … It’s that common desire to be older,” she said. “It really depends on what you want to do and where you want to go in the future.”
Olivas said the decision is an individual one and might revolve around a lot of variables. “I know a few of my friends have gone and lived in many different places, and some have stayed in New Mexico,” Olivas said. “I’m sure that for both those who left and those that stayed it may or may not have been a decision that they made, but more of the way that life unfolded for them. I think both have their pros and cons.”
Despite where one may end up or why they might end up there, moving to a new place can sometimes change or reinforce one’s definition of home. As Olivas puts it, “I think that home is where your friends and family are. It’s constant and will never change. In that sense, although I’ve really enjoyed the different places that I’ve lived, Santa Fe will always be home,” Olivas said.
“Home for me is where my roots are,” Maher said. “I’ve been looking at the Santa Fe skies, breathing in the desert dirt, getting cactus in my feet, praying for the summer monsoons and then playing in the puddles for the majority of my life. My cells are literally made up of this place.”
For Rainey, the location of home can change or expand, but is always where you feel most comfortable: “I would define a home as anywhere you feel a strong and safe emotional connection to, like where you want to go at the end of a long day, and where you feel comfortable being yourself.”