Guests snubbed by bride’s mom

Dear Annie: I’d like your opinion on what I feel was a breach of etiquette on the part of my nephew’s new mother-in-law.

Recently, my nephew got married in Chicago. My family of seven flew from Connecticut to the wedding for two days. The bride’s mother never made an attempt to meet us at the rehearsal dinner or at the wedding.

We even saw her the day we were flying home. She looked at us but made no attempt to come over and speak to our family.

The trip cost us a lot of money, along with the generous monetary gifts we all gave. The bride and groom thanked us, but we felt it was extremely rude of the bride’s mother to ignore us. An introduction and a “thank you so much for coming all this way” would have gone a long way in making us feel welcome and appreciated.

Tell me what you think. — Feeling Snubbed

Dear Feeling Snubbed: This woman may not be the hostess with the mostess, but I would let this one go. Weddings are extremely hectic, and those involved in the planning have a lot on their plates. The mother of the bride was probably consumed with making sure the events went off without a hitch. If she didn’t introduce herself, it was not out of malice. And if you really cared so much about meeting her, you might have crossed the banquet hall and introduced yourself.

Dear Annie: I just read the letter from the 80-year-old parent who advised children to call their elderly parents. My advice to elderly parents? Instead of waiting for your kids to call, call them! When I was a young adult, the only times my mother ever called me were when a relative had died or someone was seriously ill in the hospital. My husband’s mother never called him, either. An elderly aunt did call once in a while, and it was always such a treat to talk with her.

My husband and I make it a point to call our adult children every now and then just to chat. If they are busy (my mother’s excuse for never calling me was that I might have been busy, sleeping, not home, etc.), we keep it brief and just tell them we were thinking of them and will talk some other time. Keeping the lines of communication two-sided has been nothing but great for our relationship with our children. — Anonymous, Too

Dear Anonymous, Too: I agree completely. The best way to get people to call you is to call them first. Let’s all stop glowering at our phones and use them. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. To find out more about Annie Lane and read features by other Creators Syndicate columnists and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.