Here’s to the good men

Aman we know lost his wife to cancer this year. It seemed as though her life was ripped away or stolen from her; she never had a chance. It was a very difficult transition and circumstance.

Our friend is a reserved, quiet and hardworking man. Strong. My husband, Michael, bumped into him one day and asked how he was doing since his wife’s death. This big, muscular “macho” man’s face fell. He looked down, fighting back tears. Michael stepped toward him and embraced him in a full-on, lasting warm hug, saying nothing; just holding him while this man sobbed out loud till his face was wet and so was Michael’s shirt. Right there in a public place, two men embraced and wept.

A negative male system exists in the world. It certainly gets most of the attention and recognition right now. I see that and am aware.

Here’s to the brothers, the lovers (gay, straight or transgender), the uncles, fathers, grandfathers, sons, spouses and siblings who are not recognized enough for their inherent kindness, beautiful masculinity, unique wisdom and strength. I hope we remember them and appreciate them, for they truly do exist. Their numbers are growing. Their wisdom and understanding is expanding. They are separate and stand apart from an ugly “system” that seeks to dominate.

Let us encourage, appreciate, support and acknowledge them for who they really are, and the road they travel, in a world that is harsh and so quick to judge. Here’s to all the men whose numbers and hearts are large and good.

Karen Tallkat Conley is an intuitive consultant and spiritual teacher. She lives in Glorieta.