Filimotas ‘hace’ learn ‘una’ lesson
It was el tiempo del Catecismo and Canutito couldn’t go straight pa’la casa después de la escuela because he had to go pa’las catechism classes after school. Mientras que estaba waiting, Filimotas sauntered up pa’su locker también, con la boca toda llena de un big ole wad de chíquite Double Bubble. Canutito looked at him disapprovingly y cerró su locker.
“Hey, Canutito,” Filimotas began, “can I walk contigo pa’l catecismo?”
Canutito really no queria walk con Filimotas porque he tended to be un poco renegão; always cussing up a storm. Pero, como tenía que hacer sacrifices pa’la Cuaresma, he reluctantly agreed de dejarlo ir con él.
“Bueno, Fil,” Canutito said alfín, “Puedes ir conmigo pero only as long as que no hagas interrupt ala catechism teacher.”
As they were walking hacia la church, Filimotas reached into la bolsa de sus calzones and fished out un bonche de chewing gum. He offered it to Canutito, who, por un momento thought of taking some. Pero derepente he remembered que había hecho give up chewing gum for Lent, so instead of agarrándolo, he simply said: “Mi grama says que whenever you chew gum en la iglesia, what you are really doing es mascando los huesos de los muertos.”
“I don’t really believe que chewing gum en la iglesia means que you are chewing on the bones of dead people,” Filimotas retorted. “Las nuns probably just told her eso cuando estaba chiquita so that people didn’t look como cabras at Mass.”
Pronto los dos muchachitos arrived at the church porque no estaba muy lejos de la escuela. They sat down a esperar en un bench where a toothless, old lady usually sat cerca del altar. As they sat allí en lo oscuro, Filimotas turned to Canutito and asked him, “¿Sabes tú cómo you can always tell la diferencia entre una Catholic Church y una non-Catholic Church?”
Canutito shuddered to think de la respuesta que Filimotas would say so he answered, “Sí, una Catholic Church tiene un altar con candles, un crucifijo in front yun tabernacle in the back con una sanctuary light.”
“Wrong, amigo,” Filimotas replied. “You can tell que es una Catholic Church porque los front pews siempre están todos empty; todos hacen come early to get the choice seats in the back de la iglesia.” Canutito just shook la cabeza and said, “¡Qué mal!” Just then, la Miss Sostena arrived y los muchachitos stopped whispering in the dark. She looked directly at Filimotas and commanded, “Trágate tu gum!”
La wad de chíquite que Filimotas had era muy grande pa’hacer swallow so he took it out of his mouth y la pegó under the pew. The class went on and on mientras que la Miss Sostena told the children que tenían que hacer prepare for confession. Suddenly she told Filimotas to recite el ‘Padre Nuestro’ y lo pescó bien off guard.
His mouth got toda dry and he couldn’t hacer pronounce las palabras del “Our Father” bien. How he longed to have his chewing gum back en la boca pa’refrescarse la garganta pero his throat was as dry como un desert wind! Quickly he reached under the banco and got his old gum back and stuck it back en la boca. He chewed it con muncho gusto.
Después del catecismo, as they were walking home, Canutito smelled peppermint and so he said to Filimotas, “I thought que you were chewing ‘Double Bubble’ gum. I think you got el wrong gum. I think que you are chewing on el chíquite that belonged to esa viejita sin dientes who always sits there.”
Filimotas quería hacer throw up pero Canutito smiled yle dijo: “Serves you right!”